Rahrie's Melodies

Trend Follower

2009-07-24T23:28:00.003-06:00

Ok, so i am following the recent trend of making blogs on wordpress instead of blogspot. so, here is my url. I actually made this blog several months ago but chose to write this one instead because i already had some readers, but as times change so will i. Change, here i come.

http://Ray0fLight.wordpress.com/

I warn you now, it is going to be different from this blog. No longer am i going to try to talk about music the whole time. This new one is just stories, experiences, lessons, and theories i have so you are warned.

Yet Another Change in my Future

2009-07-13T13:01:00.002-06:00

Well forces of nature, i bow down to you in surrender. I am not going to go on a mission... yet. Hundreds of hours of thought, study, and so much more tell me i'm not ready to venture that way, but it isn't stopping me from growing and learning the things i need to. Where does that shift in thought leave me? well, it doesn't really change my present course. I am going to go to school, finish school, be a teacher, meet lots of new people, write my best friend as she serves her mission in England, date, and hell, who knows... maybe by staying here i'll catch a good guy's eye.

Switching gears again and again is not making life simple, but who wants life to be a breeze anyways right.

2009-07-03T20:41:00.003-06:00

I recently moved to Las Vegas for the rest of the summer and, as a member of the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints, i quickly started looking for a deaf ward to attend while i am here. I was shocked to learn that there is not a deaf ward in the entire state. That is pathetic to me. In the city i was living in before there were several wards, and i think the deaf community deserves to have that same opportunity in Las Vegas. This video is me reaching out to any people who are interested in forming an ASL speaking ward in Vegas. I'm not doing this to get people to join the church, I am doing this to bring people together. Many people went to my deaf ward that were not members just so they could meet people and have fun doing activities with them... I want more people to get that chance.

Sad News

2009-06-26T23:02:00.002-06:00

The die has officially been cast, i am no longer able to attend concerts... And I am no less than devastated to have confirmation of that fact. I am currently staying at my parents' house in Vegas and my awesome cousin Marilyn asked me to come with her to a show with a few local bands playing. Since the accident i have only attempted two concerts at my usual place, Velour, and both of those were also unsuccessful and i had to leave shortly after arriving, but this time i thought that maybe since i have been steadily getting better i might be able to enjoy a concert finally. WRONG! The moment the first band began to play i nearly had to run from the room. Not only could my head not take the sound of the amps and drums, but my back couldn't handle the vibrations from the sound waves and the movement of the floor. The pain was terrible, but i got nauseated, and worse than all that was knowing my chances of enjoying another loud show are shot. Something i once enjoyed so much is gone forever. Good thing i can handle quiet music and acoustic/small shows or i may go crazy. haha. not to mention the blessing it is that i can still play instruments myself and only feel the goodness that comes with one of my favorite hobbies.

meh

In-Between Chapters

2009-06-25T19:37:00.005-06:00

Today i moved out of my apartment of a year and a half. I had a few mixed feelings about it, but i'm not going to lie, the bulk of my thoughts were super stoked. I'm so happy to be out of the hell hole, with terrible maintenance, terrible roommates, terrible couches. But, I will miss my last connection to those great people i knew while i lived there. I met my best friends there, and most of my ex-boyfriends haha, but mostly when i think of that place i think of the trials i went through and overcame and also the changes i have made in my life.

Before i move to my new apartment in August, i am living with family. It is an odd thing, to switch from living on my own to living with people i actually know and love. haha. Good thing it is only for a month and a half.

So what will be the next chapter in the life of Ray? I don't know. But i like to think back at all the different chapters i have expected to have and have not. It's funny to think that i used to have dreams of being a musician (or a music critic), a pro-snowboarder, a missionary, a pro-lacrosse player, a sculptor, and even a writer. Every one of those is out of the question now. Guess i'll have to stick with being a professional world explorer or ice cream taster. Perhaps that will be the next chapter in my life, figuring it out.

meh. i donno

Chantal Kreviazuk's "In This Life"

Let me show you what I'm made of

Good intentions are not enough

To get me though today and this life.

You're in the basement watching the TV,

I'm on the second floor watching the ceiling.

We sleep underneath the same big sky at night.

I dream the same dream we can fly

You can run from me

You can hide form me

But I am right beside you

In this life.

Let me tell you who you really are

You're my comfort

You're not a superstar

I can reach up and bring you back down to the ground

And give you everything you dream about

You can run from me

You can hide from me

But I am right beside you

In this life.

I'll give you all the things that I never get

Give you all I have and have no regret

Take you to the places that I've never been

Forgive you all the things that you cant forget

Take away the pain with my healing hands

Wash away your sins and set your spirit free

You can run from me

You can hide from me

But I am right beside you

In this life.

Let me show you what I'm made of

Gay-dar Fail

2009-06-24T14:10:00.005-06:00

Today i had one of those miniature WWIIIs going on inside my cranium, and it proved how delusional I can be when i don't use the more logical smart part of my brain. I had my final exams today, and right before my Geology final i found myself completely intrigued by this guy. He looked just like the guy i invented in my earlier posts about Mr Perfect. I was shocked! He came over and started talking to me, and was extremely charming and funny, so in my head I'm thinking "Hmmm, maybe my dominant thought really paid off!!!!" I should say that this was a tiny thought. I'm too realistic to think something of that nature for more than a millisecond. So we sit outside my classroom talking for about a half hour when we started playing Gay or Straight. As we played i started noticing how good he really was at the game. Sheesh, his gay-dar was incredible, and I thought it was hillarious. And again a tiny thought registered and it went something like this, "I wonder what will happen if i talk to him after class too... think he'll ask me out? I donno, i didn't have time to do my hair today, i look gross... but he seems like a good guy, maybe he can look past it." Then, about five minutes before the test is set to start he points out a very good-looking, well dressed guy and says "Definitely gay. Isn't he cute?! I'm going to ask him out." and he walks up to the guy and schedules a date with him right then and there. I had been having all these tiny romantic thoughts about a gay man. Haha. I have great taste in men... but apparently Dustin has better luck with that than me. Oye Vey.

C.S. Lewis

2009-06-21T08:25:00.003-06:00

Ok, so I know this isn't music related, but i thought i would try to spread the word a little bit.

Yesterday my best buddy and I went book shopping, and we found a lot of really good books. They are all pretty religious books (and normally i don't like books like that very much) but i am having an absolute ball reading. The first book i am reading is A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. It is about C.S. (using the Alias Jack) and what he went through after his wife died of cancer. There is one quote in particular I wanted to show you: "God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down." What a smart way to look at the trials we go through in this life. It is very common for people to say that trials happen so we can learn and grow, i believe that idea too, but i never realized that the trials help us learn more then how to cope or avoid mistakes, they help us learn about ourselves and understand ourselves in a clearer lens. Cool huh

The Continuation of Yesterday

2009-06-15T15:08:00.005-06:00

I even gave him a little facial hair to show that I'm up for compromises. haha!

Oh What A Day

2009-06-14T18:32:00.005-06:00

Today I went on a drive, a long walk, meditated, prayed, sang, sat, ran, thought, pondered, but no matter what i did i could not figure out what i was trying so hard to figure out. I know that is really confusing to read, but trust me, it was so so so much worse to live through. The other day i wrote about figuring out what my most dominant thought is, and i'm pretty sure that thought was extremely negative. so i've been actively trying to change that and make myself be more positive about everything in my life. I think i might make a new dominant thought "I am going to fall in love today, with a hot guy that is going to fall in love with me too." perfect!!!! i love it! HAHA. Excellent. now i'm going to draw him and post the picture. i'll update on this positive thought and if it is working, i think it will. i'm honestly already feeling uplifted :)

Giving Up

2009-06-11T08:48:00.003-06:00

"Giving Up" by Ingrid Michaelson

What if we stop having a ball?
What if the paint chips from the wall?
What if there's always cups in the sink?
What if I'm not what you think I am?

What if I fall further than you?
What if you dream of somebody new?
What if I never let you win, chase you with a rolling pin?
Well what if I do?

I am giving up on making passes and
I am giving up on half empty glasses and
I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up

What if our baby comes home after nine?
What it your eyes close before mine?
What if you lose yourself sometimes? Then I'll be the one to find you
Safe in my heart

I am giving up on making passes and
I am giving up on half empty glasses and
I am giving up on greener grasses
I am giving up

I am giving up
I am giving up
I am giving up on greener grasses

I am giving up for you
I am giving up for you
I am giving up

Lately i have been trying to figure out what my most dominant thought is, and i still cannot figure out what i spend the bulk of my time thinking about. i hope it is not bitterness that i think of constantly, but if i pay attention i know i feel sorry for my self a lot. i hate how selfish that makes me. if that isn't it, i guess i think of ways to not be alone. like find people that i can spend my time with and not have it be a wasting my time with people that wont bring happiness into my life, and hopefully i can bring happiness into their lives too.

sometimes i realize that i bring more trials and troubles into people's lives than joy or whatever. that is what this song makes me think of. those times when i work at something so hard i cannot see that whatever it is is quickly falling apart. In relationships, i have learned this the hard way, it doesn't matter how much love you bring into it if there is no love there in return. So i have learned it is sometimes better to give up, even when you don't want to, that way you can save other people from a little strife. I'm constantly reminded of the good it does certain people when i remove myself from their lives.

meh. I donno.

Changes

2009-05-30T17:11:00.004-06:00

So many things are changing right now. I just changed my major to Deaf Studies with an emphasis in Education, and that was a huge decision to make… it was really difficult. The next huge shift I am dealing with is my best friend leaving to go on an LDS mission. I can’t tell you how difficult it is for me to sit back and watch/ even help her leave this place. I’m such a selfish jerk, I never want the people I love to leave, even if I know it is the right thing for them, like it is for her to serve the lord and those lucky people she will be called to serve. Then my roommate of over a year is moving out today. Her room is empty, and her bathroom blank, soon she will turn in her key and I’ll probably never see her again. I hate thinking like that, but it is reality, and I can’t keep lying to myself. Parts of me are excited to meet the new people moving in, but the majority of me hopes they lose their directions to this hell hole and leave me to live alone. My big brother also moved yesterday to a nice new big house, it’s a big exciting change for them; I’m so excited for them, but at the same time I’m sad I wont ever see that little house they had before. It’s so strange to think about things that way. Another change, not so recent but still affecting me, includes all the repercussions of my snowboard accident. One day I’m super happy and doing all my favorite things, being active outside and doing lots of cool stuff, next day I’m nearly dead. Anyway, today I had some of my newfound limitations shoved in my face, which was great. I can’t play guitar hero any more, and a friend of mine said, “man, this was one of your favorite things and now you can’t play anymore… how sad.” It made me want to cry. Lol. I hate missing out on things that I love. Like longboarding!!! It’s summer and nice out, and I’m stuck not longboarding. So sucky. But there are some good changes happening like…. Umm…. Like…. Hmmm, oh i know, my little brother is graduating from highschool in like a week. that is pretty exciting right? Sheesh, it seems like a day ago i was where he is right now but in reality it's been two years. I feel like i should be further along than i am. But it’s a negative day, on a good day I’ll write all the awesome stuff happening right now :)

Taylor Swift
"Change"

And it's a sad picture
The final blow hits you
Somebody else gets
What you wanted again
You know it's all the same
Another time and place
Repeating history
And you're getting sick of it

But I believe in whatever you do
And I'll do anything to see it through
Because these things will change

Can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up
To hold us back
Will fall down
It's a revolution
The time will come for us to finally win
We'll sing hallelujah
We'll sing hallelujah, oh

So we've been outnumbered
Raided and now cornered
It's hard to fight
When the fight ain't fair

We're getting stronger now
Found things they never found
They might be bigger
But we're faster and never scared

You can walk away
Say we don't need this
But there's something in your eyes
Says we can beat this
'Cause these things will change

Can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up
To hold us back
Will fall down
It's a revolution
The time will come for us to finally win
We'll sing hallelujah
We'll sing hallelujah, oh

Tonight we'll stand and get off our knees
Fight for what we've worked for
All these years
The battle was long
It was the fight of our lives
But we'll stand up, champions tonight
It was the night things changed

Can you see it now?
The walls that they put up
To hold us back
Fell down
It's a revolution
Throw your hands up
'Cause we never gave in
We'll sing hallelujah
We sang hallelujah
Hallelujah

As My Musical Horizons Have Begun Spreading

2009-05-24T12:37:00.002-06:00

First off, i cannot pretend that i magically love to listen to yodeling women or lots of country music, but my tastes of music are growing... probably about as fast as continental drift is happening. Why am i telling you this? Well, my mom and little brother really like country music, and when i was at home they pretty much raved about Taylor Swift. I will say she is so close to pop it's difficult to consider her to be an exclusive country artist, but somehow that smart chick found a way to break it into both worlds... and it only took me months and months to realize it. My mom's favorite song is an extremely popular one, "Love Story" so when i was first trying to like her stuff i listened to this. It wasn't so bad, but because i am an arrogant jerk i didn't give the song the credit it deserved. I would nearly go as far as to say i missed the entire point of the song, until recently that is. The funny part about my understanding of this music, is that it came from watching the song signed in American Sign Language (ASL). How crazy is that?! I missed out on how good the song was because i was caught up in the words not the concepts. Lucky for me i am a Deaf Studies Major and so i can understand ASL well enough to understand pretty much anyone speaking it, and finally because of this I decided i love the song. Another note i should add in here, is that i do not typically enjoy signed songs. i am too critical and can't do it myself so i think everyone does bad jobs with it (and most often they do, i can't lie). Here is the link to the video that changed my understanding of this song, and hopefully more in the future. I guess a big part of what i'm saying is country music isn't all bad, definitely not all good either (just like every other genre) and even though i will mock it incessantly, i know it has some value.

Meh. i donno

Composing Issues

2009-04-05T20:56:00.002-06:00

Today I was inspired to write some new music, and it made me think a lot about what motivates me not just with what melody I am going to choose or what lyrics to pick, but also what motivates me in life. I came up with a few major motivators and they really show in the songs I wrote. Love was probably the biggest one because I have been thinking about love and marriage (go together like a horse and carriage… sorry) a ton. I love love, and I can’t wait to find true love. That makes me sound like a fairy tale sap, but I’m not really… at least I don’t think so. The love I wrote about was mainly unrequited love, and then I did some lyrics that made it sound like I’m in the perfect relationship right now. The problem with the later of those, is that I cannot decide whether that should be happy or sad. I know that sounds dumb, but seriously, every time I have fallen in love in it has been a giant train wreck, so the thought of falling in love again is super scary, but I also can’t wait for that to happen and if I were in a love-love relationship that would be happy right?? So that would deserve a happier melody and tempo.

Meh, I donno.

The next thing I wrote about a lot was life decisions. I mean, right now I’m kind of at a spot in life where I need to get my stuff together and grow up. I am taking classes and I know what I want to be “when I grow up” but I am plagued by fears of those dreams never happening. I have also recently realized that little decisions made each day can make a GIANT difference in my life. I remembered the Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken” and I realized just how crazy important each decision I make is. I don’t mean to say that I have to choose between what is good and what is bad either, those are usually pretty straight forward, but what do you do when a decision comes up and both are good choices, but they will lead you to a completely different place, and you can’t change your mind once you have made the choice. Urg, it is so frustrating. So the songs with that type of theme are almost all in a minor key and slower tempo. It is kinda crazy to me how music can show emotion without lyrics. Today’s songs were written with the melody done first, but sometimes I do it the other way around. Everyone should try letting loose and either singing or playing a melody (it can even be in your head) and see where it takes you.

Meh, I donno

Random Photos

2009-03-11T18:28:00.004-06:00

So I was playing around with some photos on www.befunky.com and here are a few samples. Enjoy!

Craziness

2009-03-09T21:27:00.005-06:00

"Trust Me" The Fray
Looking for something I've never seen
Alone and I'm in betweenThe place that I'm from and the place that I'm in
A city I never beenI found a friend or should I say a foe
Said there's a few things you should know
We don't want you to see we come and we go
Here today, gone tomorrow

We're only taking turns
Holding this world
It's how it's always been
When you're older you will understandIf I say who I know it just goes to show
You need me less than I need you
But Take it from me we don't give sympathy
You can trust me trust nobody
But I said you and me we don't have honesty
The things we don't want to speak
I'll try to get out but I never will
This Traffic's perfectly still

We're only taking turnsHolding this world
It's how it's always beenWhen you're older you will understand

And then again maybe you don't
And then again maybe you won't

We're only taking turns
Holding this world
It's how it's always been
When you're older you will understand
When you're older you might understandWhen you're older you might understand

On the 27th of last month I went snowboarding with one of my greatest friends in the world, Tiff. I love snowboarding, especially in a nice resort like Park City, and the day looked extremely promising. I started wearing a helmet this season because I have gotten several concussions in the recent months, and I am so so grateful I invested in that helmet. At around 3:30 in the afternoon I wiped out hardcore. I don't remember what I was doing or anything else about it, I only remember being sick on the hill and after finally getting down to where Tiff was waiting, we (Tiff more than me) realized something wasn't right and called ski patrol. They got to me and put me in a neck brace and into the toboggan and I blacked out once again. Long story short, my little helmet saved my life. It gave it's life (it is cracked pretty badly) to save mine. I escaped with about a week's stay in the hospital (actually three different hospitals), a concussion, and a pulled tendent in my neck. I may complain about being stuck in a brace and wheelchair for the next week or so, but had i not had that helmet i'd be splattered against the side of a mountain in Park City and not living to tell the tale. The moral of the story is, Helmets are worth the money by a million times, and if i catch any of my friends riding without one i'll pound ya. Oh, and I'm banned from snowboarding for life, so if you are interested in buying my snowboard tell email me at rachelmarie212@hotmail.com. It's a Ride Fever from last season, Ride Sigma bindings, 144, it's in great shape and is a fantastic board.

Fantasies

2009-02-22T22:18:00.003-07:00

Lately as i have been learning more and more about how the brain works and things like that i have started to wonder why some people have more active imaginations than other people, and i can't answer that question yet, but i can say i am one of those people. As an artistic person anyways i like to think of ways to create things and things like that, but i can easily make myself zone out and be in a completely different "place" at a whim. I have been known to zone out mid-conversation, mid-road trip, mid-make out session, haha, you name it. I sometimes wonder whether this is a blessing or a curse. Obviously it helps me to sit still and not go all ADD when i'm really bored, but it definitely doesn't help me at school or other places that i should give my full attention to. The problem is, sometimes it is so fun to fantasize, no matter whether i'm thinking about falling in love, or being a NCIS agent, or becoming a famous musician, fantasies provide me a nice little escape from real life. It reminds me of different sitcoms that let you hear several characters thoughts during specific conversations and there always seems to be one that is off in their own little world or singing a song or something. I'm totally that person. Daydreaming can be extremely fun. So what made me think to write a blog on this? Well, it's not exactly a song that did it it was actually a Shakespeare quote. "... love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove: O, no, it is an ever-fixed mark." Immediately after i read those words my mind raced off, putting those words to a tune, and then continued further into a full on daydream about having love and being in love and loved back. It's kinda crazy to me how little things can make huge differences.

meh. i donno.

Brain Worms, Sticky Music, and Catchy Tunes

2009-02-17T21:50:00.005-07:00

Today I spent a few spare minutes reading my latest favorite book, Musicophilia and the chapter which most interested me is called "Brain Worms, Sticky Music, and Catchy Tunes." It talks about how we get songs stuck in our heads. It is SO AWESOME!! I can't believe how complex and incredible the human body is, and especially the human brain. Seriously, I'm in awe of all the things that one part of our bodies does without us having to do anything. In this chapter the book brought up advertising and how it is no accident that those tunes like the Kit Kat Bar commercial's "Give Me A Break" or Subway's "Five Dollar Foot Long" can replay themselves neurologically for hours and even days. Most people haven't got any control over this sometimes extremely annoying trap. Eventually the music will fade, but the interesting thing that this book brings up is that after you have had that brain worm (bit of music stuck in your head) you are more susceptible to getting that same brain worm again. Our immune systems can't fight the music! There is no cure, no medication, the music has control over when it's going to start and when it is going to finally fade out. Isn't that cool?! There are so many triggers that can set off this loop of music it is usually unavoidable. Obviously certain catchy songs are worse, i know when i hear certain songs i will put my hands over my ears to try and avoid that song being played over and over in my head for the rest of the day, but that doesn't always help. I never thought of it as something to study before, i just figured songs and melodies getting stuck in my head to be like hiccups or something, but it is interesting to know that lots of different areas of our brains are making it happen. Another interesting thing it made me realize, for those of you who play guitar hero or rock band a lot, after the song has ended the tv and walls seem to continue moving, floating upward like the notes had been moments previous. It's the same thing we are doing with songs in our heads. HOW COOL IS THAT?!

Musicophilia

2009-02-16T15:43:00.003-07:00

Today i bought the book Musicophilia by Oliver Sacks. I didn't know if i'd like it or if i'd agree with the things it says, and i must admit i'm not very far in the book yet, but so far i am loving it. The book talks about music's effects on the brain. One of the coolest quotes i have found so far is this one by Schopenhauer: "The inexpressible depth of music, so easy to understand and yet so inexplicable, is due to the fact that it reproduces all the emotions of our innermost being, but entirely without reality and remote from its pain.... music expresses only the quintessence of life and of its events, never these themselves." I just think that is a really cool explanation. it's one way to look at the power of music through a logical lens, rather than the emotional one i usually peep through.

If you want to buy this awesome book you can go here or your closest barnes n noble and they'll help you out.

Ingrid Michaleson... and Love

2009-02-15T01:06:00.004-07:00

Don't you worry there my honey
We might not have any money
But we've got our love to pay the bills

Maybe I think you're cute and funny
Maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you if you know what I mean

Oh lets get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France
Lets get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance
Lets get rich and build a house on a mountain making everybody look like ants
From way up there, you and I, you and I

Well you might be a bit confused
And you might be a little bit bruised
But baby how we spoon like no one else
So I will help you read those books
If you will soothe my worried looks
And we will put the lonesome on the shelf

Lets get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France
Lets get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance
Lets get rich and build a house on a mountain making everybody look like ants
From way up there, you and I, you and I

I have been listening to this song a lot lately, not only because i think it is funny and different, but also because it has a raw feeling to it that i feel so many songs these days are missing. I love that it talks about how important little things are when it comes to falling in love with someone. Whenever i talk to people that have been married for a few years they almost always say the same thing, and that is "you love them for completely different reasons than you did when you married them" so i take that to mean not only we change as time goes by, but love also changes. It changes our priorities, our values, our beliefs, everything. I can't wait until i find the man who is going to start that domino effect in my life, and even though it may not be anytime soon, i don't care because i know that someday everything will fall together... who wants perfection anyways? I want my truest of true loves to be spontaneous, crazy, messy, time consuming, intense, undeniable, never ending, daring, unconditional, experimental, trying, exciting, and pure. I know if i wait long enough that will be possible. So many people talk about how hopeless they feel and things like that, but i think we have more power over our futures than we realize. Tap into that deep well that is your soul, and drink a cup of courage and optimism, change your attitude around and notice how much more beauty and hope there is in this single life we are given. What is there to lose by being hopeful? By being mopey we are hurting ourselves and the people we know... it's a self-fulfilling prophecy that we all have the power to reverse.

Meh. I donno.

Singing In The Rain

2009-02-06T09:30:00.002-07:00

I wanna get your feedback on this one guys. First i'm putting the link to the original version and then this new version made for a car commercial. Think about how time constraints effected it as well as the change in music style and lyrics/ lack of. I think both are pretty good, and the second one is funny to me, but i'd love to hear what you guys think.

Old

New

Acoustic Explosion... I Mean, Acoustic Dud

2009-02-05T09:09:00.002-07:00

Recently, Mike invited me to the infamous Acoustic Explosion. He told me the name of the venue and I hadn't ever heard of it before but didn't think much of that, short story shorter, I told him i'd love to go. When I saw mike I asked him about the venue and he burst out laughing at me. I said "What?" and he replied "No no, it's a building at BYU." My first thought was "Oh no! I hate BYwho. Urg. All of the songs better not be about love and marriage, or wanting kids because I will walk out." Luckily Mike didn't really want to go until pretty much the end of the event, so we just chilled around his apartment and had lots of laughs and fun. Then we went to the show. WOW. First of all, upon entering the building we were bombarded with (i kid you not) hundreds of dancing couples dressed up and all fancy, most of the men I'm sure were pretending to be straight but in reality they were buried under hundreds of purple Clay Aaiken t-shirts and stylish clothes in a very deep closet. Aaaaaanyway, it was pretty entertaining, not going to lie. Then we got inside the concert and caught the last two performers.... THANK GOODNESS! I don't mean to say it isn't great that people are interested in music and all that, or that they learn to play instruments, but if you arn't at least bearable, please keep it private. There is no need to torture your fellow human-beings, most of the people there are going to BYwho anyways so they are tortured souls without any help from unskilled, tone deaf musicians.

Love Songs Day 4

2009-02-01T09:18:00.002-07:00

Now that the month of love is finally upon us, i have decided to stop posting the love lyrics. Haha. Not like anyone wanted to read those anyways. Instead I'm going to stick with my old high school english teacher's philosophy and say L-O-V-E is B-L-U-E (Mr. Sassenberg absolutely refused to say the word love) and talk about other things music related... or at least I'm going to try. Here is an awesome video my friend, who is getting her masters at Oxford, made. It uses one of my latest favorite artists, Adele, and shows some film of a bike ride through the place. It's awesome. Anyways, take a look and notice how the music helps bring the entire piece together. Music Rocks

Love Songs Day 3

2009-01-28T08:45:00.001-07:00

I actually really do like the lyrics i found for today. The song is done by one of my top fifty artists Sondre Lerche. The song is called "After All." Enjoy!

I like you too much
After too little time
I hold back my heart’s crazy rambling
The fear that I should overwhelm your smile
Frightens the spiders inside me

Oh this could be magic
After all, after all

You daren’t define which has happened to us
Well, I’ve had a name for it for some time
You try to find what it is that you feel
I long to tell you so truly

Oh this could be trouble
After all, after all

And I say is it a dream like it was back then
Is it a dream like it was back in the stars
Could I be so wrong? Could I be so wrong?

Chew every word to prevent what I know
From slipping right out of my fingers
Out of control, I don’t know where to go
‘Cause you were my map when I found you

Oh this could get lonely
After all, after all

And I say is it a dream like it was back then
Is it a dream like it was back in the stars
Could I be so wrong? Could I be so wrong?

No one can say all the things that they feel
Without the risk of a failure
So keep in my cards close to my heart
All of you I loved from a distance

Oh this should be magic
After all, after all

Love Songs Day 2

2009-01-27T09:33:00.002-07:00

Ok guys, heres day number two with some more super cheesy love lyrics. This time we delve into Chicago's "You're the Inspiration." Haha, Enjoy.

You know
our love was meant to be
the kind of love that lasts forever.
And I want you here with me from tonight
until the end of time.
You should know
everywhere I go

Always on my mind
in my heart
in my soul
baby.
You're the meaning in my life
you're the inspiration.
You bring feeling to my life
you're the inspiration.
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin':
No one needs you more than I need you.

And I know
yes
I know that it's plain to see:
So in love when we're together.
Now I know that I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time.
You should know
everywhere I go

Always on my mind
you're in my heart
in my soul.
You're the meaning in my life. you're the inspiration. . . .

Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin':
No one needs you more than I need you.
You're the meaning in my life
you're the inspiration.
You bring feeling to my life
you're the inspiration.

When you love somebody 'til the end of time

When you love somebody
always on my mind

No one needs you more than I.

When you love somebody 'til the end of time
. . .

Love Songs

2009-01-26T20:45:00.004-07:00

Well guys, i figured since the month of love is almost upon us i'd post a few of the greatest love songs of all time (note some sarcasm). The first song I have chosen is REO Speedwagon's 1984 hit "Can't Stop This Feeling Anymore" Haha, Enjoy.

I cant fight this feeling any longer
And yet Im still afraid to let it flow
What started out as friendship, has grown stronger
I only wish I had the strength to let it show

I tell myself that I cant hold out forever
I said there is no reason for my fear
Cause I feel so secure when were together
You give my life direction
You make everything so clear

And even as I wander
Im keeping you in sight
Youre a candle in the window
On a cold, dark winters night
And Im getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I cant fight this feeling anymore
Ive forgotten what I started fighting for
Its time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever

Cause I cant fight this feeling anymore
Ive forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crashing through your door
Baby, I cant fight this feeling anymore

My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you
Ive been running round in circles in my mind
And it always seems that Im following you, girl
Cause you take me to the places that alone Id never find

And even as I wander Im keeping you in sight
Youre a candle in the window on a cold, dark winters night
And Im getting closer than I ever thought I might

And I cant fight this feeling anymore
Ive forgotten what I started fighting for
Its time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever

Cause I cant fight this feeling anymore
Ive forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door
Baby, I cant fight this feeling anymore.

In Spite Of Me

2009-01-25T12:39:00.003-07:00

One of my very best friends sent me these lyrics and I'm a huge fan. Along with them she sent me a little intro/explanation so here it is. Enjoy everyone.

"This song is called In Spite of Me. It's just lyrics for now - I'll eventually put it to a sweet tune. I wrote these almost 4 years ago now. A friend asked me to write a love song. At that time, this is what I mused falling in love would be like for me:

I’ve never truly let anyone in;
I just couldn’t let someone else win.
I built the strongest of walls.
I displayed my worst pitfalls.
I fought for the most independence,
And I did it without repentance.
I told the thickest of lies
But you, you questioned all my cries.
And now there’s how I am deceived,
Repentant more than I ever conceived.
I’m finally a contradiction of feeling.
I’m a Picasso both standing tall and kneeling.

Chorus:
But despite myself, in spite of me,
You laugh, you grin, and win.
I ran away from what you said,
But I can’t get you out of my head.
Now every window I look through,
Only makes me think of you.
No matter how many times I try,
I can no longer believe the lie.
I am not better off alone.
In spite of me, you are my home.

In tearing down all of your walls,
I didn’t expect mine to fall.
I, I was so numb,
I didn’t recognize what you’d become.
Once I saw your true state,
It was already too late.
I tried to run and hide,
But you saw right through my pride.
You always saw the real me,
Regardless of what I let you see.
You knew I’d put a fight.
You knew my next instinct was flight

Chorus

I can’t handle the windows anymore.
You’ve penetrated my core.
Despite myself, in spite of me,
This is my surrender and something new:
I LOVE YOU!"

Across The Universe

2009-01-24T11:50:00.004-07:00

I was hanging out with a friend last week and he asked me if i had seen the movie Across The Universe and i told him that i had not. He abruptly became speechless and I explained that i rarely like Beatles' covers. The few i actually do enjoy are Jack Johnson's version of "Imagine" (which is actually a John Lennon song but i tend to blend the two together) and The Fray's version of "Eleanor Rigby." When i said this to my friend he insisted that when i got home i download the soundtrack to Across The Universe and test out my taste for a whole heap of Beatles' covers. He was rather persuasive and i'm usually willing to take a chance with new music so i did as he told me and got the soundtrack. It isn't nearly as bad as i expected however, being the music snob that i am, i definitely hated some of the remakes. Jim Sturgess does a pretty good job, conversely Evan Rachel Wood did a fantastic job of ruining my favorite Beatles song. I guess what my point is, is that some people actually can get away with doing a remake of a world renowned band. The Beatles were not the best musicians, that is unquestionable, but they changed the musical world and therefore changed the lives of human beings around the globe, so even if we have the ability to add some flair to their tunes and high tech it up, perhaps it is more important that we leave the music alone in all it's glory and listen to the melodies and words that altered history.

meh. i donno.

To You

2009-01-23T03:00:00.000-07:00

Hey readers, i just wanted to address some questions and concerns i have been approached with concerning my blog both via email and in person. Most of the questions i have received are referring to the anonymous lyrics i have posted and how i acquire them. Some of them were written by me (several years ago in fact), but actually the bulk of them have been sent to me through email. Speaking of emailing me, if you are interested in having me post your lyrics or have a question, email me at rachelmarie212@hotmail.com and in the subject box say something about Rahrie's Melodies, otherwise i may not read it. i am not a super depressed freak just sitting around in a room rocking in the corner writing down my feelings on paper because i went through a break up or anything like that. lol. As a matter of fact i'm pretty happy with life at the moment. Dating life is good, friend life is good, school life is ok, art life is awesome, music life is incredible, and financial life is good too. so if you are worried, please stop. Yes i may post anti-valentines letters and talk about how sucky it is to be alone and all that, but i'm really happy (especially right now listening to the rain out side my window, it's blissful).

so no worries.

Ever Mine?

2009-01-22T23:14:00.007-07:00

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, not and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can only live wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the lands of spirits - Yes unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in Vienna is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - at my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in out connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes everyday - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once. - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve out purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. -Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of you beloved.

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

Tonight i was messing around online looking up random things that came to my mind and i ran into this letter written by Beethoven. It is one of a set titled "The Immortal Beloved Letters." Some of you might recognize this love letter, parts of it have been displayed if recent films. I thought it was really beautiful. It makes me wish we still lived in a time where men wrote love letters. the whole "I heart ya" at the end of a text conversation just doesn't work for me.

Meh. I donno

Be My Valentine??

2009-01-19T15:00:00.002-07:00

I have already mentioned this song in one of my recent blogs, but i want to put some emphasis on the lyrics which you can find here "That's It, I Quit, I'm Moving On." And if you click here you can see Adele's live cover of the song. These words say to me something i can't really explain, but i'm going to have a go anyways. haha, so buckle down and keep your hands in side the car at all times because this may be a bumpy ride. It reminds me of the constant inequality that exists in (at least all of my) relationships. Sometimes the roles switch and I'm the bad guy and other times he is the one causing me strife, but it seems to me like dating and relationships are such a hassle i wish i could give up and move on... but i know that won't ever happen. Love really is such a crazy thing, and no matter how fast you try to run away from it, once it has caught you in its tight grip there is no escape. It reminds me of a song my Aunt Karen showed me when i was younger. It's called "Little Arrows" and it talks about the people who try to wear armor to block cupids arrows but they go straight through anyways. Isn't that frustrating? And how about all the stores stocking their shelves for valentines day already. UGH. I swear the day after christmas they started filling aisles with pink and red hearts and chocolate flowers and the word love written EVERYWHERE. gosh, it is inescapable. I don't want to sound like one of those girls who is constantly complaining about their single-hood, because lots of the time i really am happy to be single, i just don't need a reminder every year to show me that no one holds me in that special place in their heart. Oh brother. If i were queen of the world i would erase the stupid holiday. it's never done me any good. Wow, i need to stop complaining.

meh.

2009-01-11T18:43:00.004-07:00

i know we just got here but i think it's time to go

i didn't want to believe it but now i know.

You know who just got here and he didn't come alone

I can't stand to see this get me home.

Take me away

I'm gonna hurt somebody

take me away

right now

i thought he was perfect he thought i was perfect to

perfect until he found someone new.

Now i'm stuck her watching him I can't take this abuse

What does this girl do that I can't do?

Take me away

I'm gonna hurt somebody

take me away

right now.

Woah.

Take me away

I'm gonna hurt somebody

take me away

right now.

Yeah, so i changed these lyrics up a bit to match my situation, but i really do think this song means something important. I hear it all the time (mostly inside my head haha) time heals wounds, hearts grow back bigger after being broken, things can always get worse. yadda yadda yadda. but what is the truth? I don't think we are learning in our psychology classes or science classes or history classes what the truth is about how love works. the theories of man definitely are not always true. in fact i'd go as far as to say they are usually wrong. But i'm not sure what is right, so why don't you tell me. all of the two readers (one being my mother) who read my blog tell me your theories. lol.

Now I'm Just Having Fun

2009-01-11T13:43:00.005-07:00

A friend of mine gave me Shuan White's new snowboarding game for christmas, and while i was playing i heard this song, "Perfect Wave" by Barlow. It is such a fun song. I just kept making the game repeat it. It took a little work to find the song so i could download it, but it was well worth it. Some of the images they use arn't my favorite, but really, i just love the point of the song. or at least what i think the point of the song is... which happens to be: live life while you can because life is not a renewable resource and we dont get wasted minutes back.

Meh. I donno. I just love it.

Perfect Wave

She was a Baptist
He was a model
She said she never had a drink but she’s gonna drink the worm out the bottle
Chugging on the jug of life
He found Jesus
She found her G-spot
Is took her 21 years and a couple of beers to make the world stop
Waiting for the end to come
And they don’t mind dying

I’m just living on a perfect day
Riding on a perfect wave
Waiting for the end to come
Enjoy your visit no one gets to stay
Never let it slip away
Waiting for the end to come

She was straight edge, he was pre-med
Found em ankles and ears in the backroom dancing with the dead heads
Sucking on the breast of life
With a shot glass, chin strap, carburetor, mud flap
Can’t afford a chicken so you got to get a hooker in a hatch back
Waiting for the end to come
And it smells like Monday

Ahh and I don’t even care I want no death bed regrets
So stop ringing that bell 'cause I’m not finished yet

I’m just living on a perfect day
Riding on a perfect wave
Waiting for the end to come
Enjoy your visit no one gets to stay
Never let it slip away
Waiting for the end to come

More Awesome Music

2009-01-11T13:30:00.004-07:00

Josh Rouse. He has a very chill sound, kind of acoustic rock meets alternative meets jazzy blues. The vocals sound a little bit like Ben Kweller but better (sorry Ben but it's a fact). The song that caught my attention was "Quiet Town." He just has a very calming but upbeat style that i just love. I hate myspace, but here is a link to his page so you can get a little taste of his stuff. Enjoy.

meh. i donno. [Psh, i know he rocks :) ]

Finally!! Some Music To Write About!!

2009-01-11T12:50:00.003-07:00

My great friend Lindsay introduced me to one of the best artists i have heard in a while. She definitely makes my top fifteen of all time, and that really does say something. Who is this? Adele. You have probably heard her song "Chasing Pavements" which is a great song, but not my ultimate favorite song by them. My favorite is actually a cover they do of Sam Cooke's "That's It, I Quit, I'm Moving On" which really is stellar. I would go as far as to say Adele and her band and do a better performance. Her band is made up of: Adele- Vocals/Guitar, Ben Thomas- Guitar, Miles Robertson- Keys, Tom Driessler- Bass, Donavan Hepburn- Drums. If you get a chance be sure to look up their stuff, it is incredible and uplifting and... i don't even know how to explain, so just go listen to it and enjoy the bliss. Oh yeah, Bonus: she is rocking live also so the talent is legit and not created in a studio.

Anonymous lyrics take #4

2009-01-07T21:42:00.000-07:00

"The One That Got Away"

If you could just turn around,
You’d see me looking at you,
And loving you with my whole heart.

I don’t know why I try so hard to change your mind,
I know you don’t love me,
Don’t want to spend the rest of your life with me.

You’ll always be the one that got away

If you would just turn around,
You’d see me waiting here,
Trying to find a purpose in this moonless night

I don’t know how I got caught up in this again,
I knew I’d never get a second shot,
Guess you were right saying our timing never matched up

You’ll always be the one that got away

If you should turn around,
You’d see me running away,
The pain took control, self-preservation’s on the way.

Because you’ll always be the one that got away

My Personal Plague

2009-01-03T19:58:00.002-07:00

Oye

Why do country songs have to say what my head is thinking? haha, i should do covers of all the songs and make them uncountry-ified and then it would be a happier world...

meh. i donno

Are You My Rehab, Or Are You My Addiction?

2009-01-03T00:49:00.005-07:00

When days come that make me feel alone i often think of that Beatles song "with a little help from my friends" but i have realized over the last six months or so that sometimes friends can't help the way we'd like them to. At some point I just have to suck it up, pick myself up off the floor, take a shower, and live again. Sometimes I'm in a haze, or just completely backwards from the person I know i really am, lose myself in a moment just to feel some relief. Those times are stupid times. It's like phasing into an alternate reality, but you can't really do that can you? no matter how hard you try to numb the pain of whatever it is that is bothering you, that pain is going to continue to scrape against your body like razor blades until you face the problem.

meh. i donno. just needed somewhere to write.

"Relapse" Jr. Anti-Sex League

Are you my rehab, or are you my addiction?

Are you my placebic fad?

Are you my back seat, or just another disease, just another pain i've had?

You can have the needles and know all the damage done.

You can have the spot light.

You can have the needles, but don't forget what you've done.

Think i'm gonna relapse

Gonna relapse

Can you be my creed?

Can you be my new religion?

You'll be my fifth one this week.

Do me just one thing, give me anything to worship, give me anything, anything to believe in.

and it goes on...

Reba

2008-12-30T21:07:00.004-07:00

I keep trying to broaden my musical horizons and i'm doing that by trying to listen to more country music. I heard this song today, and even though it doesn't fit my life right now, i definitely have gone through similar situations so i could relate well enough to the song. It's funny to me that country lyrics tend to be like a story, oddly enough I write lyrics in a similar way. I like that every song isn't the repetition of one phrase over and over again like so many songs today.

meh. i donno.

Reba McEntire: "Myself Without You"

When you walked out that door
I was so sure my world had ended
So sure I'd never get over you

On that first night alone
I cried so many tears it scared me
So many dreams that I had to let go
But now I know

That the world still turns and the sun still burns
And that's what I've learned without you
And the days roll on and my heart gets stronger too
Don't think I didn't love you
Just because I made it through
But I learned to love myself
Without you

I take myself to dinner
And I go to the movies solo
That's something I never did before

You may not understand this
But I don't' wait on invitations
I'm not afraid of the great unknown
Of being alone cause the

The world still turns and the sun still burns
And that's what I've learned without you
And the days roll on and my heart gets stronger too
Don't think I didn't love you
Just because I made it through
But I learned to love myself
Without you

I can even see myself
Falling in love with somebody else
Ready to take that chance again
Cause I know now
What I didn't know then

That the world still turns and the sun still burns
And that's what I've learned without you
And the days roll on and my heart gets stronger too
Don't think I didn't love you
Just because I made it through
But I learned to love myself
Without you

Holy Cow

2008-12-28T14:52:00.003-07:00

With the year ending in just a few days I, like most other people, have been taking a look at what 2008 was for me and... wow.

I started the year bitter in vegas, completely depressed and angry at how badly all my plans had gone. on january 7th i moved into my new apartment in provo utah, and my life was put on a 100% different track. I met one of the best people i have ever known, Tiff my new roommate, and her best friend Kallie Joe another one of my favorite people. Tiff invited me out to dinner with her and her friend and we went to the olive garden. It was fun enough, i dont remember any specifics other than being scared out of my mind that they were going to hate me. Then we went over to some guys' apartment where i met another person that would turn out to be one of the best people i know, Matt, who upon seeing me gave me a huge hug even tho he didn't know me at all. it made me feel so warm inside and welcome. We soon left that apartment and went back to my apartment and sat around talking for a while. The next few weeks passed in a blur, i wasn't super comfortable with all of my roomies yet so i was alone a lot but that was about to change. I was introduced to the girls next door, Shauntelle and Angela, and we hit it off pretty much immediately. We did a series of pranks and things that will never forget. It was blissful with the four of us, Tiff, Angela, Shauntelle, and me.

In mid february i met a guy who seemed like one of the good ones. little did i know he would sexually assault me. That was the first of many things that sent me into a downward spiral. Even tho there was plenty of bad, there were still a lot of good things in my life at that point. I met Nate, and i loved him immediately. He was very similar to me, in that he was sarcastic and loved 'that's what she said' jokes, and he also has great taste in music. Pretty soon Tiff and I were with Nate and his roommates nearly every day. It was so fun. Next i met Casey, who was so fun to flirt with and I definitely had some serious chemistry with him. Lol i basically considered him a fox and he knew it. But nothing ever really developed out of Casey and I other than a great friendship which we still have today. Anyway, time passed and relationships came and went. In april i started to get really sick and lost a lot of weight after having my wisdom teeth removed. i also hurt my back being dumb with my friends. I was literally dying and it took a huge tole on me and my friends.

As i regained strength and got healthier things got better for a while. I learned to longboard which continually makes me happy and is a major stress reliever for me now. I also started going to the gym every day, and started doing yoga. The biggest change i made this year was probably when I started going to church. Suddenly i was filled with light, or at least it felt that way. i was smiling all the time and i was actually happy. I am almost certain i hadn't ever known true happiness until i made the decision to go back. It opened a lot of doors for me, and strengthened lots of other friendships. Like my friendship with Lindsay and Lisa and Anne. Lindsay is like a real life superhero. I don't know how she does what she does but I know i could never be as good as she is. Lisa is one of the most lovable people i know, so charismatic and a genuine good person, Lisa has become one of my ultimate favorite people. Anne can be described in one word. Loyal. but i also will tell you that she is dependable, strong, and not afraid to tell the truth and stand for what she knows is right. Through another church thing i met Cameron who is also loyal and lovable and fun. He really can make me smile. Without going to church i doubt whether i would have gotten close to any of them.

Near the end of summer Tiff moved out, i was broken hearted but eventually i healed from that loss, and i got closer to the girls next door. I hated my apartment because of all the good times i had had in it and it seemed like nothing would ever be good again. Then they started playing Egyptian Rat Screw next door, and i got to know Rob Buhler. It didn't take me long to (and i mean this literally) fall in love with him, and we began dating. My apartment became a little happier when i was with him, i was regaining hope. I lost some of the above mentioned friends and so having Buh really helped me pull through. Buh became my best friend, my boyfriend, and my life saver. lol. He stuck by me even when i was a total jerk to him. For halloween i was woopie's character from sister act, Sister Mary Clarence, and Buh was a monk. It was pretty funny, and so much fun. Then thanksgiving came and Buh came with me to vegas so we could see my family and enjoy the holiday together. That weekend didn't turn out exactly the way it was planned... to say the least. haha. Buh still spent lots of time with me, taking me to the hospital and such (those are stories for another day). Then Lisa told me she was moving to indiana. i thought i was going to have a freaking heart attack or that my soul was just going to burst... but with some assurance i know we can maintain a friendship even tho she will be across the country. Then we get to christmas break.

I got a special gift from the church the day before i left for home which left me with lots of things to ponder over the vacation. Christmas came and went, and here we are, the day before i head back to utah and start the new year. I'm not empty handed this time, and i know things will be alright. i just have to face the struggles in store for me and enjoy the good times and faster than i could guess i'll be back here writing another synopsis of yet another year. God bless and have a happy new year. Hopefully i'll have some good musical information for you soon.

the end.

Anonymous lyrics take #3

2008-12-19T21:56:00.000-07:00

Wishes

Life… gets hard sometimes,
Kicking you while you are down…
Making you wish it would…
All… just go away. away

Wishes… don’t always come true.
Looks like the fairy tales lied...
Wishes made on that special star… at that special time
Never came true for you…

Someday, when the time is right…
All the things you have wished for…
That haven’t happened yet will come true…
In the end…oh in the end

Wishes… sometimes come true.
Looks like your parents didn’t lie…
Wishes made, on that special star
They will come…
True for you…

If you just believe that someone’s here for you.
And every day someone thanks god for you…
They will love you, and cherish you till the end…
They are your granted wishes.

Wishes… sometimes come true.
Looks like your parents didn’t lie…
Wishes made, on that special star
They will come…
True for you…

Another Random set of lyrics i found

2008-12-19T21:43:00.002-07:00

"holding hands" by: Anonymous

Our hands, clasped tight… never planning to loosen them.

Fingers twisting in a maze around one another, not nearly

as complicated as the maze in our minds.

Over thinking every word, action, and kiss.

Losing ourselves in everything we were doing.

Always wanting more but never really knowing why.

Then after sometime passes a single hand falls, and realizing the mold wasn’t quite right, finds a new hand to hold.

The other is left pondering the mistake made, growing colder with every passing second… never understanding why it is alone.

This one i think is a lot more obvious and straight forward than the other lyrics, both about loss and wondering why things are the way they are. it's so frustrating in life to know if you are making the 'right' decision or not. i think everyone has times where they question everything from what the point of our existence is or maybe whether they should have burnt a bridge with a good friend or not, perhaps broken off an engagement. At any rate, i think we all have the choice to decide what we want from life and what we are willing to do to get those things. These lyrics, or i guess it is more of a poem (same thing in my mind), they arn't words of joy or happiness or joy, or hope. they are not uplifting or helpful in any way.

the end.

what do you think?

some anonymous lyrics i found

2008-12-17T13:11:00.003-07:00

"So You Wonder Why"

You’re wondering why, why does life have to be so cold. And why, why do you feel this pain, all the time, all the time…

So now, you have been left there all alone, far away. You’re told that nobody could love you again…

So you wonder why, why does life have to be so hard. And why, why do you feel this pain all the time, all the time…

You can not ask for forgiveness, they say, you are not good enough for that…

All is gone now, people have left you…and all that I can say…

Is I wonder why, why do you believe that life has to be so hard. And why, why is pain always there in your mind. Is this your life? Is this worth living? Do those little happy moments make it work?

Love never leaves. The heart never lets it go. And now when the heart starts to hurt, it’s because of that love. It’s never gone, you’re not alone.

I couldn't come up with a diagnosis for these lyrics, but i'd love to hear some feedback if anyone is reading my blog anymore. lol

Shocker

2008-12-01T18:49:00.002-07:00

So looks like you guys guessed it right, i don't think i'm going to do a "tell all" blog. Sorry to let you down. lol. But soon things will chill out and i'll have time to fill you with random snippets and Rah-isms and my knowledge-less talk about music. woot.

the end.

lame

2008-11-18T01:03:00.001-07:00

Sorry again about there being a lack of posts from me... my life has been beyond insane the last few weeks, but i have plenty to tell you once i have time. Sorry i'm being so lame :(

Frank

2008-10-29T14:50:00.004-06:00

Sorry again for my lack of posts, i have been shockingly occupied the last few weeks. i know this isn't music related, but one of the many projects i have been working on is building a frankenstein and his bride thing for a halloween party later this week, you know those things where you stick your face through and take a picture. anyway, here's a picture of that... I have also done some other arts like "sculpting" but i'll show you those a little later. For now, music wise, i have to tell you to get the soundtracks to the Scrubs series. Zach Braf (sp) does an incredible job of choosing music

Monster Mash

2008-10-13T12:28:00.003-06:00

I have lots of updates for you, but unfortunately i have no time or patients to take care of the blogs that are written in my head so you'll have to bear with me for a little while until i find more time to crank out the things you want to read. For now tho, i only have a few minutes to tell you whats going on. Last night i started working on a playlist for a friend's Halloween party, and geez i did not know it was going to be this big of a pain. Obviously people don't want the Monster Mash stuffed down their throats the entire time they are at a party, but at the same time they definitely don't need O Holy Night so i have to get some continuity in the music selection. I want to get the things people want to hear and/or dance to but at the same time i would like to find some fun little halloween related songs into the mix. Ugh, good thing i have some time to work on this or my head may explode. If you have any good ideas send them my way, i'd love the feed back:)

The Glass Passenger

2008-10-06T13:04:00.006-06:00

Yesterday I finally got the new Jack's Mannequin album The Glass Passenger. Although I have not listened to it a bunch of times yet, i must exclaim to the world that it is one of the best new releases of the year (P.S. They have released this album on vinyl here and I'm thinking it would be a smart buy). One song in particular caught my attention, "Swim" and it turns out this was one of the songs they rocked the house with at The Big Ass Show a few weeks ago. This song takes Dory's belief about just keeping swimming to the next level.

Here are some of the lyrics i'd like to focus on for a sec.

You gotta swim
Swim for your life
Swim for the music
That saves you
When you're not so sure you'll survive
You gotta swim
Swim when it hurts
The whole world is watching
You haven't come this far
To fall off the earth

What I love about the way he wrote this, is not that it is super hopeful and optimistic to the point of being a disney song, like songs sometimes turn out when you are trying to make the point that everything will be ok. I feel like this song is more realistic. It isn't making a promise that things will be perfect for everyone, it is just making a promise that it will be worth it to fight through the crap that none of us are immune to. Lately i have been realizing how oblivious we are to the people around us, and their struggles. Maybe it is because everything has been working out really great for me the last little while, but i have gained a fresh perspective into the trials of everyone around me, and how seriously not one of them isn't going through something. Some people like to run away from those issues, pretend they don't exist, others turn to substances for a release, others sex, some become recluses, others cling to those around them, a few eat everything they see while others still eat absolutely nothing, several go to church, some turn to books and movies, a lot turn to art and music, some study, some work, some go on walks, others duke it out with a punching bag, and some people give up. The best way to react to stressors is different for all of us, but i guess what i am trying to say is that we all need to pull together and help raise up the moral of the people we are around, and learn and grow ourselves, otherwise what are we all here for?

Meh. I donno.

One Day Down...

2008-10-03T11:22:00.006-06:00

I officially lasted 48 hours of only listening to country music, and then broke down and turned on some music i actually like. There were a few different tunes i could enjoy, but the truth remains... i am no country fan. Along with my adventures with country, i tried a couple other things including attending a byu football game (which for the record, no one ever saw coming). I was with someone who is a little bit obsessed with the team, so even tho we won by twenty points he left the game furious because byu played so badly and the refs were moronic. It was really fun to be with someone who was so into the game. plus any question i had about the game he could answer without thinking. it was cool to be around an expert. What i learned from these two experiments is that it is a great idea to try new things. Even if they don't turn out as good as they could have, like country music still being sucky, they still have the potential to turn out really really fun, like the football game. So yeah, pretty good couple days.

Media Fast... Meh, I Think Not

2008-10-02T09:52:00.002-06:00

At church the last few weeks the big dudes up front have been trying to get us to go on a media fast for an entire week. My initial response was "hell no!" but i decided to do a sort of variation of the same idea. I have a friend that his been pushing me a little bit lately to broaden my musical horizons by listening to more country music... So i have decided to make a drastic step, and try to listen to only country music for the next four days, seven if i can handle it. I'll give you updates as they come, but so far it hasn't been super easy (and i started this mission about an hour ago). Hopefully this will give me a little better perspective on country music.

Meh. I donno.

The Freaks Come Out

2008-09-27T21:51:00.002-06:00

Today i spent the day in Salt Lake at the x96 Big Ass Show. It was exactly what you would expect, dirty, hot, loud, but pretty fun.

My favorite band that played was Jack's Mannequin, and they totally rocked. They weren't only the best because of the pure musical talent of the band, but they had a far better approach to the crowd than the other bands. Why is it necessary to say the f word constantly when you are on stage? Of all the bands, Andrew McMahon led his best, and didn't feel the need to call the pit names and to act like a complete moron. Besides superior intelligence, the band displayed extreme musical talent. McMahon played harmonica at the same time as playing the piano, which was awesome, while guitarist and bassist rocked out and sang backup vocals. It was so, so good. I would have spent more just to watch that band, let alone seeing a few other bands. It was pretty cool.

Besides the music, there were lots of things to do at the show. My group's favorite pass-time was people watching. Holy cow, there were some intense people walking around those paths. From tranies, to a dude wearing a Mario costume, to a pharaoh, to the chicks running around dressed up like complete hoes, everyone joined in the public look-like-a-freak contest, and they all won.

Overall, the day wasn't a complete waste. haha

Meh. I donno.

Karaoke Night

2008-09-23T23:01:00.003-06:00

Tonight some of my friends and I went to Karaoke Night at Applebees, and like always it was quite the adventure. This was an extra special night for the ever talented singers however, because the DJ had added a bunch of songs to the options list... the bulk of which appeared to be country songs.

If you read my blog at all, chances are you know how i feel about country music *hint* I DONT LIKE IT *hint* but i didn't think i could hate it more. These karaoke goers proved me very wrong as they jumped onto the tiny stage and snatched the microphone. OYE VEY! It seemed to me like every one of these drunken morons was choosing country tunes to screech to. Holy cow, if you think normal country is bad i urge you to venture to your local karaoke bar and sit a spell. These people with no skill or help from technology literally made me wish i could stab myself in the ear drum with a chopstick (yeah, i know that is vivid but seriously). I have a new appreciation for country artists that at least don't create such violent responses in me. The terrible twangs i have heard are nothing compared to the wailing, bellowing, and swaying of these wannabe country stars (of all the things to wanna be, i'm thinking a country singer would be on my bottom ten).

Meh. I donno.

Check This Out

2008-09-23T17:05:00.002-06:00

I randomly came across this website while i was fixing album covers in my itunes library. It really is so cool. My favorites are the Abby Road album by The Beatles and Not Too Late by Norah Jones.

Yeah... this isn't really about music

2008-09-23T14:15:00.002-06:00

Today I started thinking about communication, and how it has changed even in the last five years. It's insane how different things can become. In my Human Sexuality class my professor said that text messaging is ruining human communication, and i think in some ways she is exactly right. Do you remember the days when in was taboo to break up with someone on the phone? After that it became email, and now breaking up via texting and facebook is on the rise. I have a friend that has had most of her "serious" relationship talks with her beau in text form. I just hate that. Don't you have enough respect for other people to take care of those things in person? I don't mean to sound like i'm innocent when it comes to this foux pas, but really??? Wow, sorry about the tangent, but this does lead somewhere music related. I had another friend that was broken up with with lyrics sent as a facebook message. I love music and everything, but sometimes you have to be completely straight forward. Artists don't write songs so the world can use them to dump people.

On To Me

2008-09-21T23:02:00.004-06:00

Last night i took a deeper look into the song "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles, and it hit me like a bazooka's ammo. I had been doing fairly well keeping a certain someone out of my thoughts for the last week, but this song ruined all of that. I went from social butterfly mode to reclusive freak in about two seconds flat. WOW. This song spoke to me, and helped me realize that no matter how alone it feels, other people have gone through the same things, and i can survive just like them. The song is all about being with someone who hurts you, but for some reason they have a gravity that can't be escaped.

"But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.

The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down

Something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long."

I have always called these people which are being described and sung about Black Holes. They have some kind of magic power over us. Knowing that a relationship with them is either impossible or unhealthy, but you look past that, ignoring and deflecting the truth. Why do we do this to ourselves and each other? Is love the culprit, maybe masochism, just plain stupidity??? If you find an answer please share it, i'd love to hear your thoughts.

You Asked For It

2008-09-18T10:13:00.002-06:00

I keep getting emails about how i need to write about country music, so i'm going to take a stab at it. I should apologize first tho, because i am a little biased and kind of hate country music with a fair amount of passion, but i will try to stop discounting it. I realize that a lot of people really like country music, so it can't all be bad.... right?

So, what is there that i can say about country? The truth is, i haven't listened to much of it, but i can say that the twangy kind is absolutely repulsive. What do i care about your dog that ran away and your geetar string that is broken, seriously? The artists i can stand are similar to Tim McGraw, Reba, and Collin Raye to name just a couple. I guess what i'm trying to say is that country isn't all bad... just mostly :)

Meh, I donno.

Great Times, Greater Friends...

2008-09-16T14:50:00.009-06:00

Today i started thinking about my friends, and i realized (for probably the millionth time) how lucky i am. Honestly, i have the best friends you will ever meet. When i was in high school i didn't have any good friends, but now that i have moved away and become the person i always wanted to be (i have lots to work on, i know, but i never imagined i could be the way i am now), i have lots of friends. I used to think it was incredible that i could love one person that i didn't have to because they were related to me, but now my heart has grown and i hold love for so many people. I think knowing love has helped me transform, and even when i get hurt and things like that it just makes my capacity for love expand. My love has also grown because of the amazing people i get to be around every single day. The friends i have now, they make me feel like no matter what happens i can feel be better just because of their presence. Not giving up on me when i screw up (which i do all the time), and having so much fun every day of the week, these people have gotten places in my heart that could never be filled by anyone else, and i will be there for them no matter what. It's the least i can do to repay them. So pretty much, I'm the luckiest girl in the world.

"You've Got A Friend In Me" Lyle Lovette/Randy Newman

Weird

2008-09-16T13:17:00.002-06:00

For the first time in my entire life, i can't find a song that can express what i'm feeling. Music hasn't ever failed me before... but maybe that isn't what this feeling is in the first place. I watched this show once, and these two people were searching for an answer to a question, but nothing ever came. When i saw this i thought, "Maybe that's your answer." Now i'm starting to think that not having a song with lyrics to match my thoughts is exactly what is in my heart. Indescribable and unwritable. It makes sense, doesn't it?

Meh. I donno

Shut Up!!!

2008-09-14T19:02:00.003-06:00

Today i had my first recent experience with someone that was tone deaf and completely unaware of it, and all i could think was "My Ears!!! Stop Singing!!!" Holy hell, how do people not notice that they are terrible singers. Don't quit your day job honey. The worst part was that she thinks she is a great singer and is perfectly on key all the time. It is so annoying. Every note is flat, and she has absolutely no idea. My ears wanted to fall off! Seriously, people need to get a clue. Sorry, but it hurts my soul to listen to your screechy tones.

Heal The World

2008-09-13T22:02:00.005-06:00

Michael Jackson is incredible. I don't care about his personal life and random wierd choices, he is an insanely talented man. I have always thought that music has power that is mostly untapped, except for the few artists that kick butt. A lot of people like to judge artists by their personal lives, but i think this is a terrible idea. Most artistic or creative people have big problems in their lives, that makes up part of their muse. What difference should it make to us if a really gifted person has weird habits. Who are we to judge them? We all have our own issues, and often times if you are really good at something you become famous so you are put under intense scrutiny. I hate that about our culture. If you put anyone under a strong enough microscope you will find flaws. I just wish people could learn to accept people that are different from them (this includes me) and look past some of the flaws... Heal The World.

meh. i donno.

Musically Inept

2008-09-12T20:50:00.004-06:00

My friends and i decided to have a dorkie little get together and watched Disney's Mulan. As they perused the extra features on the dvd, my good friend Angela came across the Jackie Chan version of "Be A Man." One of the girls at the apartment burst into laughter, piercing, ears bleeding, high pitched laughter. She thought it was hilarious that he was singing in Chinese. I was bugged a little bit because of her disrespect for the music, but it got worse. The song "True To Your Heart" as sung by Stevie Wonder and 98degrees came on. She screeches out the question, "Who is that black man?" and everyone just stared at her. She hadn't ever heard of Stevie Wonder before. I would bet she couldn't even name two members of The Beatles. I know i am a musical snob, but i just think people should have more knowledge of the prominent figures in music history. It was a sad day indeed. Who doesn't know who Stevie Wonder is?

Making It Big

2008-09-10T14:05:00.002-06:00

Today i came to the conclusion, like i have so many times before, that i should be in a band... or something like that. I have been fantasizing about this for such a long time, i have a name for the band, and some songs written, and some cover songs chosen. I decided it would be awesome to be called The Sun Goddesses and play songs that either mention that beautiful fireball that makes our solar system function, or songs that are about it. I'm not going to post any of my own songs on here, but i will show you some of my more favorite lyrics involving the sun and that i would want to play.

"Shine On" -Jet

"Here Comes The Sun" -The Beatles

"Good Day Sunshine" - The Beatles

"Sunshine" -Matt Costa

"In The Sun" -Joseph Arthur

"Morning Sun" -The Beautiful Girls

"Sun Is Shining" - Bob Marley

"I'll Follow The Sun" -The Beatles

True Love's Kiss

2008-09-09T16:00:00.004-06:00

Earlier today i was talking with a friend who is going through a break up. As we talked he mentioned that the song that won't leave his thoughts is "Walk Away" by Ben Harper. It was interesting to me that this same song has been the theme for some of my own dating fiascos. It reminded me today of how generic all of our dating situations are. Who hasn't been with someone that you would do anything for, no limitations, but they only ask for you to leave them alone.In your head you probably think "of all the things [that person] could have asked for, they chose the most difficult thing for me to give... Space." Maybe I'm kind of pushing it by saying everyone has had this experience, but i'd be willing to bank on the majority of people understanding. I have wondered lots of times whether or not i can be selfless enough to actually follow through with it and leave those people alone. Even now i sometimes struggle to not text my boyfriend from high school and see how he is doing, even though I am sure he does not want to hear from me. The longer i talked to my heart broken friend the more i questioned (to myself of course) what it must feel like to have unconditional love felt for you and then to deny it. Sometimes i wonder if i have had someone feel that way about me and have been completely unaware of it's existence. I cannot think of anything more difficult happening in this life other than being denied the opportunity to share love. I can't imagine how my friend is feeling with his broken engagement. In one of my Psychology classes my professor told us that all anger stems from a desire to control, and sadness comes from having expectations that are not met. When i discusses this with my friend he said "i would rather never get excited about what i think will happen than to be thrilled for a short time and have my hopes dashed." Although i know he was being over dramatic in saying something like that, it made me wonder how many people are so afraid of getting hurt that they don't take the chance at love. How are we supposed to find love with so many people stuck thinking about the negative? There was a song my Aunt Karen used to play called "Little Arrows" by Leapy Lee. This song was about cupid, and there is a part of it which says, "Some folks run, and others hide, but there's nothing they can do. Some Folks even put on armor but the arrows go straight through." When i hear those words i try to think of it as encouragement rather than overly optimistic. I have decided that when the time is right all of us will find love. Maybe some people screw up the chances they are offered, but it is possible for everyone to have love and be loved.

Peace Love Music

2008-09-08T11:13:00.006-06:00

Today I want to talk a little bit about genres. As my musical knowledge has grown I have become more and more convinced that no band or artist can be shoved into a single category. Take Sara Bareilles for example. She has a bluesy style, jazzy at times, alternative at times, so how do you categorize her? There is not an all encompassing genre to lump her into. Let's try a better known artist, The Fray. You could say they fit into Rock quite easily, but if you have ever heard them live or even listened to a live recording you could say they are in the acoustic rock family, or pop, soft rock maybe. Isn't it incredible how that works?!

In the big band era, genres really meant something, but now music varies so much that it is birtually impossible to form groupings for all of the artists out there. Last week a friend and I were discussing the impact that The Beatles had on the music industry as we listened to my favorite Beatles' record, Abby Road. My friend seemed to think it would be fair to say the band U2 is as popular and as world reknowned as The Beatles. Needless to say, I immediatly disagreed. Nothing against Bono, but The Beatles impact trumps every band that has or will ever exist. This is not because they were such good musicians, the fact is, they weren't that good. Don't get me wrong, i love The Beatles, but I believe that they made such a difference because of perfect timing. They came out at the same time as the television's popularity exploded. They had pleanty of exposure and people hadn't really been introduced to many different bands. Sacreligious or not, John Lennon was right when he said, "The Bealtes are more popular than Jesus."

You may be thinking "But Rah, we have T.V. now, so what's the difference?" The difference now is that exposure is easy to find. What with MTV, Myspace, Facebook, Blogspot, and iTunes, it is not that difficult to get your music out there for people to find. This is also the reason bands can have so many different sounds in each album and song. People are familiar with more styles of music, and with a growing knowledge comes a higher chance of appreciating many genres. Bands try not to get stuck in the rut of a single style, because the more they vary in their work the more people their work can reach. You may not like one song, but another song by the same artist could be your favorite. This can be frustrating because a lot of people value continuity and it is annoying to find a band you think you like just to realize that everything else by them is totally different. Sometimes band's get caught up in the money making scene and only make songs so they can become richer. Often refered to as Sell Outs, these artists make generic tunes with simple lyrics and minimal tallent("Hey There Dilyla" By Plain White Ts for example) so they can reach a larger fan base. Even these bands can be placed into multiple genres and catagories however. They write different versions of songs for the radio than for their album because in order to draw in many fans they think they have to write songs a certain way... This is often the sad truth because of our musically inept generation.

Genres are becoming more and more specialized all the time. There are tons of different kinds of Rock, and Hiphop, and jazz, and even country. It won't be a surprise to me when the genre slot on iTunes, or Limewire, or on CDs will be removed. On that day I will smile and know that music has no boundries or fences, just pure unconcourable power.

Meh. I donno.

Oh No!!!

2008-09-06T23:49:00.003-06:00

"Honest Mistake" The Bravery

People
They don't mean a thing to you
They move right through you
Just like your breath
But sometimes
I still think of you
And I just wanted to
Just wanted you to know
My old friend...
I swear I never meant for this
I never meant...

Dont look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
An honest mistake

Sometimes
I forget I'm still awake
I screw up and say these things out loud

My old friend
I swear I never meant for this
I never meant

Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
An honest

P.S. Rah's a moron!!!

What Instrument Should You Play??

2008-09-06T12:30:00.002-06:00

i though this was silly but kind of funny at the same time.

You Should Play the Drums

You are often hyper, restless, and full of a little too much zeal.

However, people may be surprised to know that you can focus your energy well.

You are driven and engaged enough to be a great drummer... and you have the stamina to practice for hours.

In fact, when you can channel your energy productively, it only increases!

You are independent and spirited... but also consistent. You can definitely keep the beat.

You work well in a group and contribute heartily - without needing to take the lead.

Your dominant personality characteristic: your aggression

Your secondary personality characteristic: your precision

What Musical Instrument Should You Play?

A Realization

2008-09-06T10:16:00.002-06:00

Today as I tried to fake myself out and feigned sleep, I listened to my Chill playlist on my lappy. As i laid there i did my best to keep my mind clear, but every time a Brandi Carlile song came on (which arn't as quite chill as a lot of the other songs on my list) i sat there paying acute attention to her lyrics, and i realized that almost every song of hers has incredible lyrics. I couldn't even choose one song to write about specifically. I have to put this link here that goes to all of her songs' lyrics. Choose for yourself which song you think has the best lyrics. I really liked the bulk of them, so i can't pick.

Can't We All Just Get Along

2008-09-05T10:37:00.003-06:00

"Come Right Out And Say It" Relient K

Lately, my roommates have been at eachother's throats. Yelling at midnights, getting all up in eachother's business, and ranting like crazy. After their first big blow out the other night, i started to think "Why don't people just confront their problems from the beginning instead of putting it off until there is an explosion?" Everyone does this from time to time, but i think this song says it best: Even if the words are probably gonna hurt, i'd rather have the truth than something insincere. I bet so many of the issues now floating around my appartment could have been avoided if we had proper communication. It is frustrating and difficult to tell someone something that you know will hurt them, but i think in the end the pain would be less if everything didn't have time to build up momentum and harsh feelings. It is easy to fall into a pattern "of prolonging the inevitable." Eventually, as shakespeare would say it, truth will out. So isn't it better to not procrastinate and let something little become something big?

Meh, I donno.

Rockband

2008-09-04T18:09:00.006-06:00

Anyone that knows me, knows that i am a huge fan of rockband. I know a lot of musicians think that rockband isn't conducive to musical talent, but i beg to differ... at least a little bit. I decided that rockband is helping people to know some of the really good music that has been presented through out time. I don't think it makes you an expert at guitar to be able to strum and skid your fingers across the colorful buttons, but i think it may help with rhythm... especially playing the drums. I do not agree with people who say that this game is a complete waste, because it brings music into yet another avenue of our lives. Many people don't know music, can't create it, can't understand it, cant afford it, can't play it, but through rockband people can at least get the feeling of being attached to the music. Maybe not writing the music, but sort of making it. I have also noticed you can learn things about people when playing rockband. Some people are outgoing, and will belt out the vocals with all their hearts, and others sit back quietly playing the bass just drifting along in the background. Other people like to be in the center of everything and rock out on the guitar, and others just pound the competition as they strike the drum pads.

Meh. I donno.

2008-09-04T09:44:00.000-06:00

I think this is an awesome album cover. The End.

2008-09-03T09:49:00.003-06:00

"i'm fine you know, just changed in many ways. Watch the steam rise off a broken heart, i never felt such sympathy. In waves that come and go, i shut down because it is easier that way. before i go could you hold me close and maybe then i'll stay? Feels like i've opened the gates to a lonely heaven. Seems like i've been living inside this lonely heaven." -Jessie Baylin's Lonely Heaven

Recording "Star"

2008-08-31T11:16:00.002-06:00

Today my mom got a flier at church that the moment she read it I knew it was blog material. The flier is about the LDS Las Vegas Stake's All American Picnic, and it is a priceless work of art I must say. First it gives the date/time and the place, then it goes on to list all of the incredible events that will be taking place at this hick-esque shindig. The most important part of this celebration of the wild west, is the live entertainment provided by Eric Dodge a "modern country recording star" who will be "live and in concert." So many thoughts came to mind as i read this color piece of paper, but my eyes zoomed right onto the word "star." If this guy is such a star, why is he playing at a random LDS function and the Utah State Fair? I'm sorry, but landing those kinds of gigs does not make anyone a star. It would be like saying you are a famous designer after you made the dresses for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. It really isn't something to get all excited about. My advice for Mr. Dodge is to get a better agent and public relations rep, and stop bragging about his awesomeness when really he's about as talented as a sixteen year old priest singing a prayer into the little mic before sacrament... maybe a little less

On The Road Again

2008-08-30T11:06:00.002-06:00

Today, in a matter of seconds and (what i kind of consider) spontaneity, i decided to rush off to vegas. Vegas has become an escape of mine lately. My apartment is no longer full of the joy and happiness which made me never want to leave, now it is full of anger, frustration, bossy roomates, and a place where my fuse has shrunken more and more with each day and each lecture i get for leaving and some sort of electricity running for more than two seconds. Why am i telling you this?? Because it leads into my ultimate frustration of the day (so far).

When i go on trips, probably my favorite thing about the drive is listening to my music for hours and hours, free to have music ADD and skipping songs i'm not in the mood for etcetera etcetera. So, right before i'm going to leave i plug my ipod into my computer to synchronize any music i have added to my library in the last week, and what did i accidentally do to it?? i freaking erased the whole thing, including the software which takes at least an hour to download on my slow internet, not to mention the other four hours will take to add on the thousands of songs i have. The five and a half hour drive would be absolutely miserable without the music, so i'm still here waiting just for the software to download, postponing my trip. This made me realize how dependent i am on the music and technology.

On the dependent note, I realized wednesday (that is when my classes started for the fall) that i don't speak, not at all, every day until i talk to family on ichat. The only words that come from my mouth (even though i am going to classes and doing lots of other things) are songs when i am singing to them. I think it is so strange that things are this way, but at the same time i am unsurprised.

So basically, music is the only reason i have vocal chords that work and arn't covered with dust and rust from lack of use. The end.

Jessie Baylin

2008-08-29T09:01:00.002-06:00

If you are in a mood for some great chill music, definitely try out Jessie Baylin. She is really great. She has a sort of bluesy, alternative rock type sound that practically forces you to bob your head along with the beat and sing along. Baylin also has really good lyrics, that you can tell took skill and heart to create. I love her.

No Regrets??

2008-08-27T22:07:00.002-06:00

Relient K: "Which To Bury; Us Or The Hatchet"

I have been thinking about these lyrics a lot lately, and i have noticed how they have changed meanings for me so many times as life throws different curve balls my way. Obviously a common time for this song to pop up is right before a break up with a guy (or some drama with someone i'm "dating") and other times it has been friend stuff, and sometimes it has even been with family. It is hard to know when it is time to call it quits, but i don't think that choosing to end the fight or to end the relationship are the only two choices available to us. They are the most common ones, sure, because they are the easiest choices to come up with but they are most difficult to make. I'd like to say that that old saying of being "a lover not a fighter" is how i am, and it is true that i love to love friends and family, but sometimes there are things that are pushed too far... and i have a feeling that most people are like me.

I can tell you from many experiences with the different problems and say that your heart almost always knows what you want to do (not necessarily what you should do). If you want to leave, your heart will tell you that, and a lot of times it is impossible to change your heart's mind. My good friend once told me that we need to live more by our hearts and less by our heads, because our brains are tools that God gave us, but our hearts know things our minds can never grasp. I think she was right in at least her idea, though it doesn't quite make complete sense to me. I think it is true that our hearts can understand different things than our minds. It doesn't take a brainiac to notice that I am kind of an emotional person, too often i think with my heart and not my head, this is why i have drawn several of my conclusions the way i have. I think the heart knows our truest desires, and knows things the mind will never have the ability to understand, but i do not believe the heart always knows what is best. Try to describe what love, or hate, or the feeling that you get when you hear great music... it is not possible. Sure, you can say that love is "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person" like Dictionary.com but anyone who has actually felt love knows that this definition doesn't even begin to describe it. I really like using my heart, but sometimes it definitely is a better idea to go with your head than your emotions in certain situations. I admit i am a complete failure at reacting, especially to surprises, my mind is over powered by my heart, and thinking is minimal (definitely a terrible plan). Sometimes i think it is possible to influence the heart with the mind, or the mind with the heart, but i'm not so sure that these influences are permanent fixtures in our lives. It can be so frustrating, not having the choice in our own lives, no control. I have learned that the bulk of our negative feelings are a result of the want to have control over things. I get mad because i can't stop my professor from going off on tangents, and I get sad because the people i love don't love me back, i get frustrated because rent costs so much money, and i get disappointed when books or movies don't stand up to my expectations. Sometimes it would be nice to have control over our lives and the people in them, to have everything our heart wants... but the fact that our hearts don't always seem to collect, is that other hearts don't want the same things, and even if they did, they are not what we need. Wants and needs, sheesh, wouldn't it be nice if they were always the same... and even better, what if our hearts and minds could find a happy medium, and draw the same conclusions.

So, which to bury; us or the hatchet? Hearts or minds? It isn't always that black and white. I can train one or the other to be quieter, but deep inside those instincts still control us and wont go out without a gnarly fight. The fight is for happiness, and we all need to make a choice about whether we want to have it or not, and we have to use the right weapon... And wouldn't you agree it is usually best to use the whole arsenal?

Meh. I donno.

What Would You Do?

2008-08-25T20:38:00.003-06:00

Today I broke, no wait, obliterated a friend's heart. It was an odd time when i decided to do this, right after a series of terrible days, I gave him false hope (although it was not exactly on purpose) and then allowed myself to rip him to shreds. It made me look at everything from a different perspective, so perhaps that is the whole reason (you know, in the giant scheme of things) of our meeting. I'll explain what i mean.

I haven't ever been the person to do the rejecting. It has always been done to me, a fact i have gotten used to as the time goes by. I don't think I ever realized that even though someone is rejecting you, it doesn't mean they arn't hurting also. It was torture to send the texts (that were mostly not even written by me) to this guy, and to know that those words were beyond low blows, and I'm sure hurt him greatly. I don't regret what I did, but i sort of wish i had gone about it a different way... He probably deserved better. This whole thing made me realize that every time i have been rejected, the other person was probably in pain to. This is pathetic to admit, but i never thought about how it would feel to break someone else's heart, i've only thought about the damage mine was taking out of all the failed relationships.

My second realization (maybe not realization as much as emphasis or something) was how important friends are. My friends stuck by my side through out the entire ordeal revealed above, and let me vent and gave me advice and talked to me, for a little while so i wouldn't set around and dwell on the utter failure that is my existence. It would be easy for me to sit here and say that I solved all of my problems today, but the truth is my friends saved me (even if i was missing the best of the bunch) and i don't know what i would do without them.

This is why i chose my song for the moment to be:

"With A Little Help From My Friends" by The Beatles

Let My Love Open The Door

2008-08-24T22:10:00.004-06:00

Sondre Lerche did a version of the song "Let My Love Open The Door" and I have to say it is the best i have heard. Besides Lerche's obvious talent, I would like to talk about the whole idea I find behind this song.

I think this song is all about hope, and about retaining hope. It isn't hard to get discouraged and lose faith that things can and will get better. The key part to letting our hearts free to have hope and also to have lose lies within everyone, but sometimes "tragedy befalls you"and even though it seems like the exact opposite thing that you should do, is to open your heart's door and let love enter it again. I know, the thought of getting hurt again is unbearable, trust me have experienced this several times, but "love can cure your problems" if you let it. This doesn't necessarily mean a love for a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife, it can be a friend or a parent, a religious leader, an author, a musician, even a random person you meet. You just have to let yourself open up to the idea that everything can be okay and the cuts will heal, and everything that happens, happens for a reason even if it isn't obvious right away.

When The Lights Went Out

2008-08-24T21:56:00.003-06:00

Disenchanted

I have been thinking a lot about how hard it can be to see where our lives will lead us. Like it says in the beginning of this song sometimes, "I hate the ending myself, but it started with an alright scene." It is hard to see where our choices will lead us. This is a problem i have got to work on. Just like everyone else in the world, i want to have purpose and meaning in my existence. I have had a lot of trouble making the right decisions lately, and actually all of my life, and in several of the bigger instances i have thought about what i should do for hours, days, weeks, months, even years, and still come up with the wrong answer. (I have to warn you, this might get a little preachy for a second so you will have to forgive me) A tactic i rarely have used to make my choices is prayer, and look where that got me. Ha Ha. At some points i have thought there wasn't a correlation between good decisions and prayer, but now i realize that if i would just stop and pray, and to listen to my instincts and intuition i would probably be in a far better place now. So i guess my advice for everyone, and that was actually inspired by this song (which i don't believe was trying to get this point across in any way), is that we can't all be these "sad songs with nothing to say." Get off the couch and get yourself happy because no one else will do that for you, and do everything you can to bring joy to the people around you (that is one of the shortest roads to happiness).

"Until The World" The Afters

2008-08-21T00:27:00.002-06:00

I lose myself to find in me

The way it really ought to be

It's hard to say I love you

It's hard to say I need you

If all is well it's hard to tell

It hurts to think of someone else

It's hard to say I'll be there

It's hard to say I really, really care

[Chorus:]

Until the world won't turn

'Til the planets burn

Until the sun dies I'll be there

Until the heavens come

'Til this life is done

Until the world dies I'll be there

I can't see outside myself

How can I live for someone else

It's hard to say I'm sorry

It's hard to say forgive me

I can't believe you're here with me

Into the future I can't see

It's hard to say forever

It's hard to say I'll never ever go

[Repeat Chorus]

Take Me Away

2008-08-18T16:04:00.001-06:00

Plain White Ts

Beware! Blabbering Ahead!!

2008-08-14T11:04:00.007-06:00

Jet- "Eleanor"

Every time I hear this song I start to think about life and sort of how it feels out of control but some how you can't get enough, like a greek woman would feel when released into an olive orchard or something. More than that tho, i think about how fleeting happiness can be. When i was in high school I had a teacher, Mr. Gary Sassenberg, who loved to talk about how "nothing gold stays." He even wrote that in my yearbook. At the time I didn't really think about it. For me, life was life, and things seemed like they would always be the same. Sort of like i was on a train and just a passenger, i had not choice where i was going, i just had to sit there and enjoy the ride. That was high school. Now that i am possibly as different as is humanly possible from that person i was in high school, i know how wrong I was. One of the most talked about things where I am living now is love, and how illusive it is. I like how this song points out that "love's in your hands," and even tho i am sometimes guilty of this, if we are open to it love will find us. I know that is so cliché, but i have an example.

Last night i went to my first ever "Black and White Mocktail Party." This was a wierd experience for me. I had to put on a dress, which my wonderful roommate lent me amidst hundreds of groans and complaints by me, wore heals which i rarely use, and put on different jewelry than my everyday Saint Christopher Medallion and peace sign ring. I was extremely self-conscious dressing like this. Sort of like i was playing dress up, but not even doing it well because i was definitely not dressed up to the standards that all of my friends had easily leapt over. After i had given up on bettering my appearance, i went into my kitchen and waited for the dreadful hour to arrive where i would have to be in public. The time finally came, and i made the mistake of pointing out that "i should suck in my stomach when i wear this dress, it makes my stomach look bulgy" needless to say, my roomates wanted to slap me, and i think Tiff was frighteningly close to doing so. I gave up on explaining to them what i meant, their glares were enough to make King Kong back off and leave the woman on the Empire State Building. Soooooooo. Now we go to the party. I wasn't wrong about my being underdressed for the occasion, i have never been W.A.S.P. material. lol. Someone threw out the idea that we should play croquet, mind you we are all in semiformal clothing, on the lawn in front of the apartments. We go down stairs and start playing. My heals are sinking in to the damp earth, but miraculously i wasn't the worst at hitting my little green ball between wicket after wicket. It was fun, but kind of similar to an out of body experience, because the whole game just didn't seem like something i would have ever seen myself doing. But hey, i like trying new things. Now, after this adventure among the dandelions, the bulk of the group went back up into the apartment, but it was too hot so we stood around the balcony talking. The group slowly went inside, eventually leaving me with two very awkward people searching for an escape. I had none, i was cornered. Let me remind you, that i had been extremely worried since i said i would be attending this party, that i would look like a dip face and that i would never find a date or anything to the event because guys just are not interested in me... Which i am fine with for the time being (just to clarify). So i'm out there being destroyed slowly by the mounting tension and awkward-ity when the guy turns to me and starts what was leading to him very nearly asking me on a date. I was sending "save me!" signals to all my friends inside but no one was receiving them, so i kind of broke away giving some excuse to book in inside and avoid him. I go and sit in an open seat in the dining area and half listen to the conversations happening around me, mostly distracted because of my near miss outside. As i am sitting there, another guy, a friend this time, sits next to me. He starts flirting and does this wink thing at me, he was serious, and i was unamused. This same winking habit spread until three different men came up to me, sat in the empty chair beside me, winked, and began to flirt. I can't decide if it was a huge prank and they all planned it, or i just happened to have come across these pro-flirts.

Now, this whole experience made me think, wow, if i really wanted to be dating, i could be. This is all up to me. I realize that sounds cocky and stuck up, but what i am trying to say is that everyone, including myself, is in control of our own lives, whether it has something to do with love, money, work, or school, it is up to us. It is the beauty of being human. Although it would be nice to control the other people around us sometimes, isn't it better that we all have the free will to create our own happiness?

Meh. I donno

2008-08-08T20:51:00.003-06:00

Have you ever had one of those days where you are so close to the edge, anything can push you over? Well today i had this very problem, and little things pushed and pushed me until i almost completely snapped. Thanks to good friends telling me how stupid i was being and the help of some yoga, i fought away the insane stresses that were nearly crushing. But even after that i still felt tense, so i turned on some music.

The best music to chill out to:

Sorry So Lame

2008-08-08T12:25:00.002-06:00

I know that lately i have been a failure at life and not blogging as much as i should, but i really don't have time now either. Here is a link the lyrics for Marc Broussard's "Home" to keep your mind occupied for a minute or two. I like these lyrics because they talk about the power that music can have. Marc Broussard is a really good artist, and he does these lyrics justice by singing the song wonderfully. The bluesy sound of it can make anyone chill and pay attention.

Hmmm

2008-08-04T18:08:00.001-06:00

Music is in the heart

The Message

2008-08-01T17:46:00.004-06:00

Jason Mraz

Have you ever had one of those experiences when you want to tell someone something, and you didn't know how to say it? I am fairly sure everyone has gone through that, and when i heard this song it made me think about the many times i have sat at either a phone or a computer thinking and rethinking a plan to send a message. Often times, if i have the urge to send a person a message and for some reason there is tension in our relationship (whether it is because of a fight, a break up, or some other category of drama) i can spend hours revising a two sentence message. And even though i spend so much time writing that message, for some reason half the time my meaning is still misconstrued. What, then, is the solution to this problem that i am sure is not only mine? How can so many different interpretations of something be taken from a message that consists of less than 25 words? Language is extremely interesting when you think of it like that. Is it ever really possible to get your point across completely? I don't think so. The more i ponder this the more i believe it is impossible that you can give anyone a perfect picture of your thoughts, no matter how well you word it, people will always take your words and understand them in a different way than you meant them. This goes for music also. This is why there can be so many ways of viewing songs. Another thing is that words change meaning over time. A hundred years ago a telegraph was the world's instant message, and you would have to wait a long time to get a message that may have taken three seconds to type out. what is my point? Well, i guess what i am saying is that thinking about what you say or write is really important before you publicize it, and considering different ways of taking that message is a really good idea, because you definitely don't want people to get the wrong impression.

Waiting on the World to Change

2008-07-28T11:56:00.006-06:00

Breakfast at Tiffani's: Lyricism

After I read this post by my good friend Tiff, i started to think about how i write lyrics and what i look for when i read them. i couldn't help but wonder whether artists and lyricists realize what they are putting into writing. I mean, obviously they know what words they are putting onto the paper, but do they realize the impact of those words? Some artists i am sure think about this idea, but i have a feeling too many more people are out there making these poppy punk, emo, and rap songs that are almost identical to the next hit song and don't care what words they are sharing and spreading. When did it start being popular to listen to songs with absolutely no meaning? I don't mean to sound like a grumpy old fashioned soul when i say this, but music has changed, and i think it would be so much better for everyone if people went back to being true musicians and stopped depending on technology and stupid preteens for their "big breaks."

When you create something that has meaning, it has the potential to touch every person that comes in contact with it. This probably sounds really cheesy, but music is a great equalizer, and if given the chance i think music can be the bridge everyone has been waiting for that will take us out of the hard times and into better ones. i am not saying that music will cure diseases, or stop wars, but maybe if people can stop, and feel, and understand a set of letters mashed together and allow themselves to be touched by the combinations of words with their connotations/denotations and melody.... perhaps we can make this world better, even something everyone can treasure.

John Mayer

Meh. I donno.

Zia Record Exchange

2008-07-26T12:38:00.002-06:00

So today i tried to survive my time spent at home in Vegas, and to prolong my death by boredom i decided to go buy records. I have a few regular spots that i like to go, my favorite of which is Zia Record Exchange. They usually have a really great selection of old and new records, but unfortunately for me i was on the look out for more new albums than old. Of course because i have been in a Gavin-ie mood lately i checked for a vinyl of his and was to no avail. i did find a john mayer album which was pretty cool, and a bunch of old queen stuff, but nothing super exciting. I was a little disappointed when i left, so i decided to go to a newer find of mine. I get to the place, and it has a huge sign on the door that says everything is 25% off, so i'm feeling optomistic. I walk in and find myself face to face with a really cool Ratatat record, and a Beatles album. Obviously i was pretty happy. All in all, it wasn't a completely useless time, but i must say that shopping for records is way more fun when you go with fellow music lovers and record collectors. No one else gets excited when you find a cool one.

It's All Relative

2008-07-22T14:52:00.005-06:00

Gavin DeGraw: "Relative"

A flashlight
Isn't quite sunlight
But any light at all seems bright
When you're looking in the dark

A wet-dream
Isn't the real thing
It isn't really anything
But at least it makes a spark

And all is Relative
Eveything is Relative
Yes, it is

[Chorus]It's all about
The way we receive it
How much we believe it
Depending on the life you lead
If you lead it
Compare it to yourself
Compared to someone else
You care
And if you took
The threads in your closet
The cash in your wallet
The color of the skin in your blood
And how you got it
Compare it to yourself
Compared to someone else
You care

Pre-made
Isn't quite homemade
But pre-made with a home name
Is almost just the same

Your girlfriend
Isn't your best friend
But any friend is best when
You're freezing in the rain

And all is relative
Everything is relative

[Chorus]

You're either underweight or you're unfit
Overdressed or underzipped
Too social or you're just too shy
Too depressed or you're too high
As night to day and day to night
Rich and poor and black and white
All is relative
Everything's relative
All is relative...

[chorus]

Enough Said

This Is The Start Of Something Good

2008-07-20T20:26:00.003-06:00

For the last few weeks i have been going through a chill music phase. Some of my favorite artists for chill times include: Jack Johnson, Jimmy Buffet, Bob Marley, John Mayer, The Shins, and Gavin DeGraw. Right now i do not have time to write a complete blog about this, so for now, LISTEN TO GAVIN DEGRAW!!!!!! Especially his Chariot Stripped album. But his 2008 album release of his self titled album is really good too. Enjoy!

Come With Me...

2008-07-19T19:15:00.005-06:00

Today some friends and I went record shopping, and I must say that buying vinyl records is one of my favorite ways to spend time/money. I know I sound like every other music junky when I say this, but there really isn't anything as relaxing or satisfying as listening to a really cool album on a Saturday afternoon. Music always sounds better when it is recorded on vinyl, and I'd challenge anyone who disagreed with me on that. Today i bought several different albums, but my favorite find of the day is actually a new one... The soundtrack from the motion picture Juno. Although i already knew that the soundtrack was put together really well, i was pleasantly surprised to find that once again, vinyl kicks mp3's trash. Plus, this is a limited edition colored vinyl that is a lightly transparent orange... possibly the coolest looking vinyl i have ever seen.

What am I getting at? Well, there is a song on this album called "Sea of Love" by Cat Power. This is a relatively short song with vocals done by Charlyn "Chan" Marshall. Once again I have chosen to spotlight a song with minimal accompaniment, but it was just enough to amplify the pure awesomeness of the lyrics. Now i know that you are thinking "COME ON RAH!!! TELL US SOMETHING NEW!" Well i don't have much, but i can tell you my theory about this musical mystery. On the surface it seems like the song is just about a person and their lover, but if you look a little deeper you can see that it may be a bit more. This song may be about trying to get your feelings out when it seems like it is never the right time. Where do i get this you ask, well the speaker is asking the other to join them, to come with them, so that the speaker can tell its lover the extent of their feelings. Sometimes it seems like people over think their next moves. Why is this necessary? If you love someone, TELL THEM! To use the old cleche, there is no time like the present. Or even better, a quote from the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off, "Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." and adding to that, one of the points i think this song is trying to make, take chances because you have to act now in order to be happy. No one else is going to do it for you, and you will regret it your whole life if you don't take your own trip to the "sea of love."

Where to Begin??

2008-07-18T11:09:00.011-06:00

I think it is best to ease myself into this whole thing slowly. I'll try to do this by picking one of my favorite songs and explaining why I believe it is worthy of the time it takes to hear it. I apologize in advance for any rambling that may occur. This song is called "On My Way" by Ben Kweller.

Something I have noticed with music is that if the melody and the words don't fit together the song is almost always a disaster. What I mean is, you can have a perfectly good melody written, and a great set of lyrics, but you can't just throw the two together and expect the song to be a masterpiece. The tune and the words must work together to build the song up and transform it from just words to an emotional or epic journey. If a song doesn't create the emotion that the artist desires the audience to feel the song becomes a waste. This song has a simple melody and is a basic procession of few notes repeated over and over, and although this tactic does not always work, it actually helps bring this song to the next level. What I mean to say, is that because the accompaniment is minimal, it brings the lyrics into the light and give the listener the opportunity to hear what the artist is actually saying. There are many different genres in which songs can be categorized, and this is sort of a "coming of age" tale. It starts off extremely negative and builds from there. I hate to use the cliché, but it is building from the ground up, from the deepest of hatred to the strongest of loves. It says to me that no matter how bad things are, they can turn around you just have to get on YOUR way.

P.S. I promise these posts will improve after I find my groove.

So Apparently I Need A Blog...

2008-07-17T14:21:00.000-06:00

I figure i should introduce myself to the zero people who will be reading this blog... Here it goes.

My name is Rachel, but most people call me Rah, or Ray, or Rahrie, or any other nickname they so cleverly come up with when they are around me. I'm your average college girl, and do average things, with other average people. I don't know a lot about anything, or even a little about lots of things, and i try not to pretend that i do. I do know, that i am a music enthusiast, and that is what i have chosen to center my blog on. This probably sounds fairly generic to you, after all, what hearing person doesn't list music as one of the things they love. That is a fair point, and i must admit that I'm not a musical genius, or a pro, or even an apprentice, but i am a lover. If i never get married or have a successful relationship, i know that i will have music to keep me company at the very least.... and to me that is practically the world. My plans for this blog are many, and because of how much i procrastinate, i don't know if i will accomplish these goals.... but for those of you who are still reading, here is what i have in store for you: Reviews on albums both old and new, reviews on shows that i attend (or wish i could), possibly post some of my own tunes/lyrics etc, and most of all i want to help spread the music that is helpful in my life.

With that last category i should probably explain. I have a firm belief that for every moment in the day, there is a song that can accompany it. i want to find those songs and rhythms and lyrics, and share them with as many people as possible.

I should make it clear that everything i write will be my opinion alone, unless i specifically mention that i am borrowing someonelse's words. So, there you go. Enjoy