Trend Follower

Ok, so i am following the recent trend of making blogs on wordpress instead of blogspot. so, here is my url. I actually made this blog several months ago but chose to write this one instead because i already had some readers, but as times change so will i. Change, here i come.

http://Ray0fLight.wordpress.com/

I warn you now, it is going to be different from this blog. No longer am i going to try to talk about music the whole time. This new one is just stories, experiences, lessons, and theories i have so you are warned.

Yet Another Change in my Future

Well forces of nature, i bow down to you in surrender. I am not going to go on a mission... yet. Hundreds of hours of thought, study, and so much more tell me i'm not ready to venture that way, but it isn't stopping me from growing and learning the things i need to. Where does that shift in thought leave me? well, it doesn't really change my present course. I am going to go to school, finish school, be a teacher, meet lots of new people, write my best friend as she serves her mission in England, date, and hell, who knows... maybe by staying here i'll catch a good guy's eye.

Switching gears again and again is not making life simple, but who wants life to be a breeze anyways right.

I recently moved to Las Vegas for the rest of the summer and, as a member of the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints, i quickly started looking for a deaf ward to attend while i am here. I was shocked to learn that there is not a deaf ward in the entire state. That is pathetic to me. In the city i was living in before there were several wards, and i think the deaf community deserves to have that same opportunity in Las Vegas. This video is me reaching out to any people who are interested in forming an ASL speaking ward in Vegas. I'm not doing this to get people to join the church, I am doing this to bring people together. Many people went to my deaf ward that were not members just so they could meet people and have fun doing activities with them... I want more people to get that chance.

Sad News

The die has officially been cast, i am no longer able to attend concerts... And I am no less than devastated to have confirmation of that fact. I am currently staying at my parents' house in Vegas and my awesome cousin Marilyn asked me to come with her to a show with a few local bands playing. Since the accident i have only attempted two concerts at my usual place, Velour, and both of those were also unsuccessful and i had to leave shortly after arriving, but this time i thought that maybe since i have been steadily getting better i might be able to enjoy a concert finally. WRONG! The moment the first band began to play i nearly had to run from the room. Not only could my head not take the sound of the amps and drums, but my back couldn't handle the vibrations from the sound waves and the movement of the floor. The pain was terrible, but i got nauseated, and worse than all that was knowing my chances of enjoying another loud show are shot. Something i once enjoyed so much is gone forever. Good thing i can handle quiet music and acoustic/small shows or i may go crazy. haha. not to mention the blessing it is that i can still play instruments myself and only feel the goodness that comes with one of my favorite hobbies.

meh

In-Between Chapters

Today i moved out of my apartment of a year and a half. I had a few mixed feelings about it, but i'm not going to lie, the bulk of my thoughts were super stoked. I'm so happy to be out of the hell hole, with terrible maintenance, terrible roommates, terrible couches. But, I will miss my last connection to those great people i knew while i lived there. I met my best friends there, and most of my ex-boyfriends haha, but mostly when i think of that place i think of the trials i went through and overcame and also the changes i have made in my life.

Before i move to my new apartment in August, i am living with family. It is an odd thing, to switch from living on my own to living with people i actually know and love. haha. Good thing it is only for a month and a half.

So what will be the next chapter in the life of Ray? I don't know. But i like to think back at all the different chapters i have expected to have and have not. It's funny to think that i used to have dreams of being a musician (or a music critic), a pro-snowboarder, a missionary, a pro-lacrosse player, a sculptor, and even a writer. Every one of those is out of the question now. Guess i'll have to stick with being a professional world explorer or ice cream taster. Perhaps that will be the next chapter in my life, figuring it out.

meh. i donno

Chantal Kreviazuk's "In This Life"

Let me show you what I'm made of

Good intentions are not enough

To get me though today and this life.

You're in the basement watching the TV,

I'm on the second floor watching the ceiling.

We sleep underneath the same big sky at night.

I dream the same dream we can fly

You can run from me

You can hide form me

But I am right beside you

In this life.

Let me tell you who you really are

You're my comfort

You're not a superstar

I can reach up and bring you back down to the ground

And give you everything you dream about

You can run from me

You can hide from me

But I am right beside you

In this life.

I'll give you all the things that I never get

Give you all I have and have no regret

Take you to the places that I've never been

Forgive you all the things that you cant forget

Take away the pain with my healing hands

Wash away your sins and set your spirit free

You can run from me

You can hide from me

But I am right beside you

In this life.

Let me show you what I'm made of

Gay-dar Fail

Today i had one of those miniature WWIIIs going on inside my cranium, and it proved how delusional I can be when i don't use the more logical smart part of my brain. I had my final exams today, and right before my Geology final i found myself completely intrigued by this guy. He looked just like the guy i invented in my earlier posts about Mr Perfect. I was shocked! He came over and started talking to me, and was extremely charming and funny, so in my head I'm thinking "Hmmm, maybe my dominant thought really paid off!!!!" I should say that this was a tiny thought. I'm too realistic to think something of that nature for more than a millisecond. So we sit outside my classroom talking for about a half hour when we started playing Gay or Straight. As we played i started noticing how good he really was at the game. Sheesh, his gay-dar was incredible, and I thought it was hillarious. And again a tiny thought registered and it went something like this, "I wonder what will happen if i talk to him after class too... think he'll ask me out? I donno, i didn't have time to do my hair today, i look gross... but he seems like a good guy, maybe he can look past it." Then, about five minutes before the test is set to start he points out a very good-looking, well dressed guy and says "Definitely gay. Isn't he cute?! I'm going to ask him out." and he walks up to the guy and schedules a date with him right then and there. I had been having all these tiny romantic thoughts about a gay man. Haha. I have great taste in men... but apparently Dustin has better luck with that than me. Oye Vey.

C.S. Lewis

Ok, so I know this isn't music related, but i thought i would try to spread the word a little bit.

Yesterday my best buddy and I went book shopping, and we found a lot of really good books. They are all pretty religious books (and normally i don't like books like that very much) but i am having an absolute ball reading. The first book i am reading is A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis. It is about C.S. (using the Alias Jack) and what he went through after his wife died of cancer. There is one quote in particular I wanted to show you: "God has not been trying an experiment on my faith or love in order to find out their quality. He knew it already. It was I who didn't. In this trial He makes us occupy the dock, the witness box, and the bench all at once. He always knew that my temple was a house of cards. His only way of making me realize the fact was to knock it down." What a smart way to look at the trials we go through in this life. It is very common for people to say that trials happen so we can learn and grow, i believe that idea too, but i never realized that the trials help us learn more then how to cope or avoid mistakes, they help us learn about ourselves and understand ourselves in a clearer lens. Cool huh